When I finally came out to my parents, my late mother's sole concern was that being openly gay would make my life more difficult and she worried about what I might face. Her reaction was what I think should be the reaction of every truly loving mother. Sadly, far too many parents fail their children as they either cling to religious brainwashing or a form of self-centered narcissism that makes them worry more about their own possible personal embarrassment at having a gay child rather than the life and happiness of their child. One mother that clearly falls in the mode of my mother is "Amelia" who has a young gay son and who frequently writes about their saga. A piece in Huffington Post looks at her thankfulness for Democrat victories on November 6th and for those who have worked to make society a safer place for her son. Here are some highlights:
I was a little tense before the election. OK, maybe "a little tense" aren't the right words. Maybe "really could have used an IV of Xanax" is more accurate. As the mother of a young gay son (and as a human being in general), I have loudly applauded the progress our country has made toward LGBT equality in the last four years. I wanted -- no, needed -- to see that progress continue. On Nov. 6, as the evening went on and results started flooding in, I was stunned and happy. President Obama was elected to his second term in office. Marriage equality won, discrimination lost and Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) became the first out LGBT person ever elected to the U.S. Senate. Weeks afterwards, the joy and shock have not worn off completely.
I am complete sucker for Thanksgiving, and this year I am feeling especially thankful, not just for the progress shown in this last election, and the progress I can see coming just over the horizon, but for the many people all over this country who have fought or are fighting to make it possible.
I am thankful for the patrons of the Stonewall Inn in New York City, who, on Saturday, June 28, 1969, decided they would no longer tolerate police harassment and fought back. They stood up, got loud and clearly showed everyone that they were not going to take it anymore. In doing so, they launched the modern LGBT rights movement.
I am thankful for Harvey Milk, our country's first openly gay elected official. . . . . . He was tragically shot and killed the year after he took office, but his message of hope and openness lives on to this day.
I am thankful to the courageous moms who marched in New York City's 1974 Pride Day Parade. These mothers put conventional wisdom to the side and put their children's needs above their concerns about what the neighbors would think or do. When I look at their picture, I can't help but be in awe of the sheer gall it must have taken for them to do what they needed to do for their children, their families and themselves.
And those are really only the tip of the iceberg. In the last 50 years hundreds and thousands of people have fought for equal rights, and I am thankful to them all. I know that all their hard work, sacrifice and struggle brought us here, to a place where my little boy can know who he is and tell me without shame -- and be unaware that shame could even be a factor.
But they deserve more than my thanks. They deserve to honored. That's a task that I take seriously and to heart. I will honor them by teaching my son his history, a history he probably (and unfortunately) won't learn in school. From me he will learn of people who came before him. He will learn of the triumphs and defeats along the way. I will impress upon him the importance of appreciating and remembering that the path to equality is and was never easy but is always worthy and important. Without all those people, we wouldn't be standing where we are today. And I like today.
I agree completely with Amelia. We need to honor those who have done so much by continuing to push for an end to religious based bigotry and for a future where all of us enjoy full, equal civil rights.
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