"Ex-Gay" Mormon Announces Divorce, Apologizes to LGBTQ Community

One of the things that I have worked to oppose since coming out is the efforts by Christofascists, the Catholic Church and the Mormon Church to maintain the lie that sexual orientation is a "choice" and that one can "pray away the gay."   It simply does not work and those who try accomplish the impossible ultimately end up wracked with self-contempt, and unhappy life, and likely end up depriving their opposite spouse from having the type of marriage they deserve  - namely, to someone who is heterosexual.  I know of what I speak since for 37 years I tried to "pray away the gay" having fallen for the lies propagated by the Catholic Church.  The only thing I can say in my defense is that I decided to marry 41 years ago when far less was known about the immutability of sexual orientation.  Those who continue to believe the religious based lies, especially the Millennials, have far less excuse.  But the ultimate blame rests on religious leaders who refuse to update their religious dogma even though science and modern knowledge have demonstrated beliefs to simply be untrue.  Sadly, they prefer to force individuals into marriages doomed to fail and seemingly care nothing for the lives they harm.  The latest "ex-gay" to fall Josh Weed, a Mormon, who was held out as "proof" that gays could change, marry women and "change" who they are.  My heart goes out to both Weed and his wife, both of whom are victims of the wilful ignorance of the leaders of their faith.  Here hare highlights out of Salt Lake City:

Josh and Lolly Weed, viewed as proof, and used as an example, that a gay man and a straight woman can make a successful Mormon marriage, have announced their divorce. In the same blog post where they announce their divorce, they offered an apology to the LGBTQ community.

"Today, we need to let you know that Lolly and I are divorcing," the blog said this week, after recounting the couple's accidental rise to the media spotlight when Josh Weed came out as a gay LDS man who was faithful to his church and married to a woman. They were in high demand to explain how they made the seemingly contradictory lifestyles work together.

The couple wrote, together and then individually in the same blog post on Thursday, that they came to understand over time that their deep platonic love was not a substitute for romantic love and that such a relationship is vital to everyone's happiness.

Lolly Weed wrote:  And that is what human beings need to be healthy. All of us. Romantic attachment. It’s one of the main purposes of life!

They explain at length how they came to the realization. Josh Weed said three factors led him to believe this was the case:   Love for the LGBTQ population; Love for himself as a gay person; The death of his mother

The couple rise to notoriety came about because of a blog post — that can no longer be found on JoshWeed.com — that, according to Josh, led them to be "featured on shows and newspapers around the globe." That included a story on Nightline . . .

Included with the announcement and explanation about the couple's divorce was an apology to the LGBTQ community. Among the specific things the Weeds apologies for are:  We’re sorry, so incredibly sorry, for the ways our post has been used to bully others.  And we’re sorry if our story made it easier for people in your life to reject you and your difficult path as being wrong.  We’re sorry to any gay Mormon who received criticism, backlash, or hatred as a result of our story.  We’re sorry to anybody who felt a measure of false peace because of our story.

We’re sorry to any LGBTQIA person who was given false hope by our story

Each of the specific apologies came with longer explanations.

Josh Weed also wrote that his stance on homosexuality, that once aligned with that of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, had changed.

"I have spent my entire life conforming to every standard of the LDS faith because I believed it was what God wanted me to do," he explained.

"I believed this because every mentor, every exemplar, every religious teacher, every therapist, every leader I ever grew up listening to and trusting told me that that was the only way I could return to live with God. . . . over the course of my lifetime, the list of things said by these trusted leaders about my sexual orientation was profoundly inconsistent and confusing." Josh Weed listed a number of those "inconsistent and confusing" things, which included:

• My sexual orientation wasn’t real

• My sexual orientation was evil

• My sexual orientation was an abomination

• My sexual orientation was tantamount to bestiality and just shy of murder

• My sexual orientation could change in this life if I had enough faith

• My sexual orientation was a “trial” to bear

• My sexual orientation maybe couldn’t change in this life after all

• My sexual orientation could be managed with faith

• My sexual orientation could be endured

Lolly Weed also wrote that many of her friends and community expressed to her, upon learning of the divorce, empathized with her and say she deserved the romantic connection, but few felt that empathy for her husband. . . . . I mean, isn’t the same true for LGBT people? Shouldn’t we feel the exact same intuitive injustice at the thought of them deserving to be “loved like that”?

The blog post says the couple and their children will continue to be close and will continue to love each other.  "We can continue to be the family we have always been, and we can add to that family," they wrote.

I wish both of them and their family the best of luck moving forward.  I still have no regrets having children - we are celebrating a granddaughter's birthday later today - but I will always feel sorrow that I harmed my former wife simply because I believed the lies of the Catholic Church until I reached the point where I simply could not go on lying to myself and everyone else. The ones who deserve severe punishment are those who continue to disseminate the lie that gays can "change" and that one's sexual orientation is a "choice." 

New Jersey Gay Conversion Therapy Court Case Begins

Anyone who has seriously looked into "conversion therapy" and "ex-gay ministries" knows that they are fraudulent, but for years they have dogged  accountability and liability by hiding behind religious belief and typically not using licensed therapists who might be held accountable by state licensing authorities.  The main purpose of the "ministries" has been to rake in money - some charge $10,000 or more per year - and to maintain the myth for political purposes that gays can "change."  The sad reality is that one is as likely to be cured of metastasized cancer by an African witch doctor as they are to be made "straight" by one of these "ministries."  Hence why the case pending in New Jersey is unique because it is based on consumer fraud.  The Guardian has details on the opening statements.  Here are excerpts:

[I]in his opening statement for the plaintiffs, David Dinielli, deputy legal director of the Southern Poverty Law Center that has spearheaded the lawsuit, said that all three men named in the action had been deceived. “The young men are all gay. They were defrauded – they paid money to the defendants to change them from gay to straight but all they got was junk science and discredited so-called ‘cures’.”

He added: “Jonah lied – they made it worse.”

In addition to Unger, the plaintiffs include Chaim Levin who was 18 when he sought the help of Jonah and Michael Ferguson who was 25.

Dinielli outlined in court the multiple lies he said Jonah’s founders and contractors had told the plaintiffs about their services. They included the claim that homosexuality was a disease or disorder. “This is false. There is a long-standing scientific consensus that homosexuality is not a disease or disorder but a normal variation of human sexuality,” Dinielli said.

The judge presiding over the case, Peter Bariso, has already ruled in pre-trial hearings that should it be proven that Jonah described homosexuality as a medical or mental – as opposed to religious – disease or disorder, that would be a violation of the state’s consumer fraud act.

Dinielli went on to say that Jonah had claimed falsely:

• that its therapy was based on science;
• that it had successfully cured a third of the men who had been through its program – a figure that it boasted despite having kept no records of past cases;
• and that the conversion could be effected within three or four years.

Dinielli described aspects of Jonah’s activities that he implied to the jury were peculiar or irregular. One such activity – or “process” as Jonah calls it – was “healthy touch” where younger clients and older counselors held each other for long periods of time.

“They turn the lights down low, play soft music and cuddle. The theory is that gay men missed out on father physical affection when they were young and that’s one of the reasons they are gay. The theory is that old men possess ‘golden father energy’ that they can transmit to the younger participants,” Dinielli said.

The trial is expected to last three weeks.

Hopefully the plaintiffs win and the case set set the template for suing other of these quack ministries run by Charlatans like Michele Bachmann's closeted husband "Marcia" Bachmann.  These scam artists need to be shut down nationwide.

District of Columbia Bans "Ex-Gay" Therapy

The Christofascists have lost another battle in their war to perpetuate the myth that sexual orientation is a "choice" and that gays can "change" their sexuality - claims that are condemned by every legitimate medical and mental health association in America.  The truth and the findings of medical/mental health experts mean nothing, of course, to the "godly folk.  If you want some insights on just how bogus "ex-gay" therapy is, check out this piece at Queerty that looks at an undercover effort to expose "ex-gay" charlatans.   But back to the developments in the District of Columbia.  Here are excerpts from a press release from the National Center for Lesbian Rights:

Today, the District of Columbia Council unanimously approved a bill that will protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth from the dangerous and discredited practice of conversion therapy.

When signed into law, Washington, D.C. will become the third jurisdiction—behind California and New Jersey—to pass legislation protecting LGBT youth from practices that are known to cause severe depression and even suicide.

“Today, the DC Council sent a powerful message to LGBT youth and their families that they are accepted, supported, and loved,” said Samantha Ames, NCLR staff attorney and coordinator of the #BornPerfect campaign at the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR). “The Council has used its authority to protect our most vulnerable youth from dangerous and discredited pseudoscience that tells them who they are is wrong, and reaffirmed the consensus of every major medical and mental health organization that all children are born perfect, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.”

NCLR, in conjunction with other organizations, including the Human Rights Campaign, played a key role in organizing the coalition behind the bill, which was authored by Councilmember Mary M. Cheh. A broad range of groups supported the Youth Mental Health Protection Act, including national LGBT organizations, mental health organizations, faith leaders, youth advocates, reproductive justice groups, and civil rights organizations.

The reality is that "ex-gay" therapy needs to be banned nationwide with no exemption for religious "ministries."  At the same time, we need more victims of these programs to come forward and file lawsuits against these therapists and organizations on the basis of the intentional infliction of emotional harm, negligence and fraudulent advertising.  With a fee successful lawsuits, insurance carriers would drop coverage of "Christian counseling" clinics (Think "Ladybird" Bachmann), churches and other organizations   that peddle these fraudulent "therapies."