Lately Gay - A New Resource Blog

I received an e-mail today from a reader who has started a new blog called "Lately Gay" which aims to be a resource for older gays. Here's a part of Stephen's message to me:

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My name's Stephen and I'm starting a new blog space in the UK aimed as help-point and magazine space for the 'lately gay' generation. One of the sections for the site is 'My Story' and I wonder if you would mind my quoting some extracts from your blog.

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The following is from the opening introduction to Stephen's blog, and I have to admit that there have been times in the past that I felt that I had come out too late and that perhaps suicide would have been the better course (in fact, I actually tried that approach in one particularly dark moment). That phase has passed, but coming out in a social group that places extreme focus on youth and beauty makes it very hard for older guys to make the transition. Here are those introduction highlights:

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This is a community website dedicated to older gay men, and in particular, those who have come out in their middle or later years. "LG" is a forum for members to meet, share their experiences, offer advice to each other and gain support in the complicated world of the UK's gay scene. The gay community is a completely diverse mixture of ages, social backgrounds and family make-ups, but too often the focus of media coverage is concentrated on the 18-30 set. What about the guys who are only coming to terms with their true sexuality in their 40s, 50s or 60s upwards? Too often they can arrive feeling like they're late for the party and with hardly any formal or even informal support aimed at them. And all this, no doubt, in the turbulent wake of a marital break-up.

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If this description strikes a chord with you and sums up where you find yourself at moment then, please, do come in and make yourself at home. This is a fledgling venture and may well be a little shaky as it takes shape but stick around and most importantly tell your friends about us. Within these pages you'll find the opportunity to tell your story, get a few things off your chest and discover that your are not alone.

Monday Blues

It is one of those Mondays when I just cannot feel positive, try as I might. Perhaps working much of the weekend is part of my problem - I had to be a witness in a trial today (my client prevailed), so I tried to get stuff done over the weekend in case it turned into an all day affair. Another part of my funk is perhaps waiting for the outcome of the divorce trial which is still hanging over me. Yet another part is the adjustment to not having the b/f around – he’s living out of state as we remain separated. I miss him in many, many ways and think of him when I am at home because he did so much of the renovation work on the house and built the ponds in the backyard. At the same time, however, I do not miss our fighting and the drama we seemed to fuel far too often when together. He says he still loves me, but I fear it's more about control and manipulation.

I guess I simply feel empty and alone and somewhat jaded on gay relationships in general. I want normalcy in my life without needless drama. At times I truly wonder if I will ever find it. I came out of the closet largely because I was tired of going through the motions of a so-called life and not truly living. Instead, I was play acting and playing the role I thought was expected of me. Now there is no script and assigned role and it can be scary at times.