Another "Ex-Gay" Leader Admits Conversion Therapy is a Fraud

While far right groups held a pitifully attended "straight pride" event in Boston (the counter protesters far out numbered the few dozen participants), the far right and Christofascists groups continue to peddle the lie that "conversion therapy" can change one from gay to straight. Why?  Three reasons, in my view: (i) its very lucrative financially to the charlatans who operate the "ministries," (ii) it provides an excuse to oppose LGBT non-discrimination protections, and (iii) it allows proponents to avoid admitting that homosexuality is a normal, god-given characteristic for a certain portion of the population and that their corruption of the Bible is flat out wrong.  Depending on the quack involved, the particular motivation will vary. One thing that has not changed is the continuing cavalcade of former "ex-gay" leaders who are admitting that the programs they lead - sometimes for many years - were and are frauds.  A long piece in the Charleston Post Courier looks at the latest individual to admit that the entire conversion therapy industry is a fraud.  It also looks at who right wing religion pushed him to try to "change," plus the other casualties of these fraudulent programs: the straight spouses these "ex-gays" marry.  Here are excerpts:

McKrae Game is gay.  He was gay when he received counseling from a therapist who assured him he could overcome his same-sex attractions. He was gay when he married a woman and founded what would become one of the nation’s most expansive conversion therapy ministries. He was gay when thousands of people just like him sought his organization’s counsel, all with the goal of erasing the part of themselves Game and his associates preached would send them to hell.

For two decades, he led Hope for Wholeness, a faith-based conversion therapy program in South Carolina’s Upstate. Conversion therapy is a discredited practice intended to suppress or eradicate a person’s LGBTQ identity through counseling or ministry.

In June, Game publicly announced he was gay and severed his ties with the organization. Now, the man once billed as a leading voice in the conversion therapy movement is trying to come to terms with the harm he inflicted while also learning to embrace a world and community he assailed for most of his adult life.

Game is one of many former conversion therapy leaders who have left the movement and come out as LGBTQ.

In 2014, nine founders and leaders from some of the country’s most prominent programs and ministries wrote an open letter calling for a nationwide ban on the practice.

“As former ex-gay leaders, having witnessed the incredible harm done to those who attempted to change their sexual orientation or gender identity, we join together in calling for a ban on conversion therapy,” they wrote in the letter. “It is our firm belief that it is much more productive to support, counsel, and mentor LGBTQ individuals to embrace who they are in order to live happy, well-adjusted lives.”

“Conversion therapy is not just a lie, but it’s very harmful,” Game told The Post and Courier. “Because it’s false advertising.”

Nearly 700,000 LGBTQ-identifying adults have undergone conversion therapy treatments or counseling, according to a 2018 study by UCLA’s Williams Institute. The various forms of conversion have been tied to emotional and psychological trauma for many, including depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. It’s been condemned by virtually every major medical group in the United States, including the American Psychological Association and the American Medical Association.

Eighteen states and Washington, D.C., have laws on the books banning the practices on anyone younger than 18. South Carolina is not one of them. Whether or not there’s a ban in place, there’s nothing to prevent a religious organization from offering such counseling.

“I was a religious zealot that hurt people,” Game said in an interview. “People said they attempted suicide over me and the things I said to them. People, I know, are in therapy because of me. Why would I want that to continue?”

Game recently published a written apology to his personal Facebook page in which he called for the dissolution of any conversion therapy practice or ex-gay ministry.  Game said he realizes that for many an apology won’t be enough. And that he’ll likely be apologizing for the rest of his life.

While I never participated in a formal "conversion therapy" program, I tried many of the techniques they advocate.  I never "changed" but I surely experienced increased levels of self-loathing and self-hate, none of which made me a better person or parent to my children.  Yet believing the lie that "change" was possible I married - like Game did - and cheated my former wife from the type of marriage she deserved. She has remarried and I hope she is truly happy. Will she ever forgive me for believing the lie and marrying her?  Probably not. Of course, the proponents of conversion therapy care nothing about the spouses of gays or their children.  All that matters is the money to be made, furthering their political agenda, and/or avoiding the truth about their false faith system.

The Post Courier has another good piece entitled "Taught to Hate Myself" that is  worth a read. Sadly, these fraudulent ministries continue to do severe harm on a daily basis.