
*
It was quite a Mother's Day gift. At long last, just as his older brother, Michael, had years earlier, my younger son, Jonathan, had found "the one." From the moment he enthusiastically introduced my husband and me to the new person in his life, I knew this was it. For months after, I witnessed their relationship blossom - watched as his eyes lit up, listened as his "I's" gave way to "We's." And like any mother, I was elated to see my son so in love and so happy.
*
It's a joy and a relief that both of my sons have entered that special, slightly mysterious realm that spouses share. That deep, abiding love and commitment. That bedrock knowledge that even if everyone else does not, that one person will remain true to the end. The simple pleasure of sleeping better at night, warm and snug in the knowledge that you are not alone in this world.
*
Every mother wants that for her children, to know that even when we parents are long gone, they will still be loved with every bit of fervor that we've loved them with from the moment they were born. It is a human condition, at the most basic level.
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And while I am overjoyed that both of my sons have found such happiness — and that from their happiness I have gained another son and a daughter - I can't help but feel sad to Jonathan. The right to marry is, as it happens, not a right at all. . . . He is denied the rights and protections civil marriage provides.
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Even children understand that this is unfair. Michael and Teri's two sons, both years away from voting age, have written to their state senators for help - they want to see Uncle Jonathan and Uncle Eric get married, here in our home state of New York and in front of their friends and family. And so do I. Because what matters — the only thing that matters — is love. And that is universal. It's time that marriage was universal, too.
*
This Mother's Day, I don't want another scarf. I don't want any flowers. My dear son can't give me the gift I want now — he's done all he can do. Who would have thought that the best gift this mother could ever receive would come from the New York Legislature? It's time to pass marriage equality legislation. I've got a wedding to plan.
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