Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Phony People and Gratuitous Nastiness

I have debated about posting on this episode and finally decided that in view of the gratuitous nastiness involved that I would do so. Recently, I sent out an e-mail in support of Barack Obama using one of my older e-mail accounts that I have had for years and dating back long before I came out of the closet. Inadvertently, I copied one of my former sister-in-laws and her husband on the message. Since they have been active Democrats for years, the message surely should not have not offend their political sensibilities. Moreover, they like to hold themselves out as accepting social liberals and even hold themselves out as being gay friendly.

One would think, therefore, that if they did not want to communicate with me, the normal thing to do would have been to simply send me an e-mail asking that I remove them from my address book. Instead, they each sent a very nasty message and copied everyone on my original message to share their nastiness with all these other parties. The messages were so nasty that among the comments I received from shocked parties that received their message to me were:

What. A. Bitch!!
Who are those assholes?
What a witch.
Who’s that dickhead?

One party even sent this message back to them: The fact that you chose to cc everybody on your rude email to Mike speaks to the fact that you must be a huge asshole.

Admittedly, my coming out of the closet upset my ex-wife’s comfortable life and – God forbid – she had to become self-supporting. But I never did anything negative to this couple who were nasty just to be nasty. The long and short of the matter is that I suspect they and my ex-mother-in-law in particular are disappointed that my suicide attempt did not succeed, thereby depriving the ex-wife of a large life insurance pay out. The fact that I supported my former wife decently for many years and that she pretty much cleaned me out financially apparently means nothing. The concept that perhaps I am entitled to a little happiness in my life like everyone else likewise is apparently not on the radar screen for them either.

If nothing else, coming out has shown me how phony, petty and nasty many people are. They put on a good show, pretend that they are liberal and accepting, etc., but when push comes to shove, they reveal their true selves. Oh, and did I mention, I have always thought my ex-brother who chose to be so nasty is a closet case.

1 comment:

Java said...

My brother taught me a word a few years ago that describes this situation perfectly. Clusterfuck.

The longer I'm involved with the gay community the more I see examples of those who "doth protest too much." The loudest opponents are often so loud because they are trying to convince themselves.

You haven't posted anything about other people's nastiness to you in a long time. Like, since just before the final divorce hearing. Is it because things are settling down a bit? I hope that is the case. This sounds like an example of one more weed springing up in the garden after you've done a pretty thorough weeding. There are always one or two more weeds that try to come back, but it's much better than the weed-choked mess it used to be. Even though some of those weeds can be pretty thorny.
Hang tough, Michael!