The divorce wars continue. Now I have learned that my estranged wife wants to have her attorney take the depositions of both me and the b/f. She has a fantasy that I/we are hiding money from her. Needless to say, the b/f is not happy and her sitting by as her attorney questions him will be drama of the highest caliber. The reality is that her expectations of what I should pay her (ideally forever) far exceed my financial reality. In her mind – I guess much like that of former Gov. McGreevey’s wife – I should be endlessly punished for “what I did to her.”
Especially abhorrent to her is the idea of a full time job, even though she has an M. Ed. from the University of Virginia and all but a dissertation for a Ph.D. from UVA. I guess nearly 30 years of being supported in a rather decent style counts for nothing. Our next hearing on the spousal support issue should be interesting because it is again before the judge who cut her Pat Robertson Regent Law School grad attorney off at the knees when she tried to “play the gay card.” Fortunately, my ex-wife has fired that attorney (who appeared to enjoy gay baiting me) and has hired a new attorney who hopefully will be more able to grasp my financial reality.
While I greatly love and value my kids and would not want them not in my life, my advice to closeted gays who have not yet married and are debating what to do is: REALLY THINK TWICE ABOUT IT!!!!! The pain, sense of guilt (which, on the plus side, my ex-wife has thoroughly killed in me from her viciousness and refusal to be realistic) and emotional baggage may be more than you bargain for. The "ex-gay" advocates of the Christianist far right seem to care nothing for the damage done to the both the straight spouse and the gay spouse when the doomed battle to make one's self straight inevitably fails.
While I greatly love and value my kids and would not want them not in my life, my advice to closeted gays who have not yet married and are debating what to do is: REALLY THINK TWICE ABOUT IT!!!!! The pain, sense of guilt (which, on the plus side, my ex-wife has thoroughly killed in me from her viciousness and refusal to be realistic) and emotional baggage may be more than you bargain for. The "ex-gay" advocates of the Christianist far right seem to care nothing for the damage done to the both the straight spouse and the gay spouse when the doomed battle to make one's self straight inevitably fails.
I so want this process over so that I can fully go on with my new life as a gay man. And, in all sincerity, I truly do want my ex-wife to move on in her life and for her to find happiness. In my view, dwelling on punishing me, keeps her from reaching that goal.
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