School System Allows Group To Promote 'Gay Conversion' To Students

The Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/06/AR2007080600943_pf.html) and 365gay.com are reporting that the Arlington County Virginia School Board will allow PFOX - a puppet of Christianist organizations like Focus on the Family - to distribute materials in middle schools. School Board Chairman David Foster is pictured at left. Anyone wishing to provide their comments to the school board my do so via this e-mail address:schoolbd@arlington.k12.va.us Here are some high lights of the Post story:

McLEAN (AP) -- An organization that advocates therapy to convert gays has settled a lawsuit with Arlington County school officials over their refusal to distribute its fliers to high-school students. As a result, the group is now considering targeting its message to even younger students in middle schools.

Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays, or PFOX, sued school system administrators and board members earlier this year in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, claiming that they improperly blocked their request to send out fliers to high school students.

A settlement, reached last week, specifically states that PFOX will have the same access given to other groups and can submit fliers for distribution to middle and elementary school students if it wishes, said PFOX's lawyer, Timothy Tracey.

PFOX, based in Fairfax County, has been controversial for its support of conversion or reparative therapy, which many mental health experts say is harmful. It has also opposed sex-education curriculum in Montgomery County, Md., and elsewhere that it believes advocate a homosexual agenda. Tracey said Monday that PFOX is considering distributing its fliers at middle schools but has no plans to do so at elementary schools.

Not surprisingly, I beleive the School Board decision was idiocy and potentially harms numerous students and opens the school system up to potential law suits. In fact, here is the letter that I sent to the members of the school board and superintendent of schools:

Ladies and Gentlemen:

It was with great distress that I noted your decision described in the linked article (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/08/080707school.htm). As one who has studied the fraudulent nature of these “conversion” programs in depth and helped expose “ex-gays for pay,” I believe that you have opened a Pandora’s Box of potential liability on the part of the school division in respect to youth who may be harmed by these programs and/or pushed to suicide.

In 2006, the American Psychological Association issued a stinging rebuke of the so-called ex-gay movement following a demonstration by members of several organizations that claim homosexuality is a choice that can be cured. In fact, the APA is now considering a total ban on conversion therapy under the APA’s ethical and clinical guidelines. In short, if the school division gets sued, the legitimate mental health experts will testify against these programs. I hope you have discussed this issue with the school division’s liability insurance carrier. I suspect your carrier will not be pleased. Whether or not you endorse these programs, the fact that the school division allows the materials to be distributed will give them an appearance of legitimacy that they do not deserve. Unsuspecting youths and/or parents may be misled accordingly to their detriment.

I know I would happily represent a youth in your school division or his/her family who is harmed as a result of these fraudulent programs. Perhaps Arlington County will have the opportunity to provide the “test case” that will put these bogus “ministries” out of business once and for all.

I truly hope you will rethink this extremely foolish decision.

The Clerk of the School Board confirm receipt of my letter and that it would be distributed to the baord members.

Monday Male Beauty

Putting In The Hard Work to Let Go the Past

I have posted several times recently on the issue of not continuing to allow oneself to be a victim or trapped by one’s past and the need to take affirmative steps to make changes in one’s outlook and mind set to accomplish this goal, be it through therapy or other spiritual means. With this background, I came across a post on a friend’s blog about two people in his life that perfectly illustrated the choices we all are confronted with in deciding which path we choose to follow (I have modified the language slightly):

“He is someone who has traveled a pretty harsh road, but he is so determined to not let his past and not let those experiences impact negatively on his present and future. I have no doubt that it’s a difficult path and I can even see the struggles at times in his eye’s. However he keeps powering ahead. He is so willing to put in the hard work. That’s a quality I admire in people.

It’s interesting because in contrast, I see another friend who refuses to deal with the difficult situation before her and just dwells on the past. Even though to fix things would be difficult, if the effort was put into the endeavor, she would come out happier and healthier. I hope she decides to take this path at some point because she truly deserves to be happy.”

I realize that I myself have not always put the needed effort into escaping the wounds and old paradigms of my past - it is ever so easy to wallow in being a victim – but overall I believe I have made significant progress in not allowing this baggage to continue to control my present and future. Has it been an easy process? Most certainly it has not. Has it been worth the effort? Most definitely.

Gay Self Esteem

I came upon this post consisting of a book review today (http://superbbluewren.livejournal.com/175758.html#cutid1) on Superbbluewren' s journal (out of Australia), but thought that some of what it says is relevant to gays anywhere. I recommend that you read the whole post, but here are some highlights:

"It is really important to recognise a simple and basic truth. A person who is nasty to you, who is arrogant, distant without reason or is angry at a level much greater than you deserve, always, absolutely always dislikes himself. He doesn't dare recognise his own self-dislike; instead he thinks he sees it in your eyes and then responds to you the way he sees you, not the way you are." That unequivocal statement answers a question that I have been asking myself for the last few years. The statement comes from a book called: An Intelligent Life: A practical guide to relationships, intimacy and self-esteem by Sydney psychiatrist Julian Short.

Poor self-esteem and the resulting depression is one of the major problems of western society today. In particular, self-esteem is one of the greatest challenges to gay men. We may be paranoid at times, but there are significant sections of the community who are out to get us. Self-esteem is not the same as self-confidence. Being able to perform for one person (sexually or otherwise) or thousands has nothing to do with self-esteem. There are many politicians, rock stars and other celebrities who can perform, sometimes for a world audience, but they are not necessarily people who like themselves. A self-respecting person likes himself but it is visible in openness, not confident certainty. Short comments that "If you're a superstar it might be easy to have a high self-opinion, but if you live your life intelligently you can learn how to be insignificant, how to fail, make a mess or just be plain wrong and still like yourself, because happiness is about more than achievement or status." So how do we live our life intelligently?

People are not mind readers! They judge us by what we do and say. They are most influenced by our recent behaviour. If we change our behaviour for the better and persist with the change, we earn the respect of others and build our own self-respect. We may think that we are still not much good and that we are just acting but we tend to judge ourselves by the same criteria that others use. Our judgement of ourselves aligns eventually with the judgement of others. Again Short comments that "the way you feel today is far more influenced by the way you handle the present than by what happened in your past". That is true, even if we were the cause of what happened in our past.

It is what we do in response to our feelings that makes the difference. Short summarises the behaviour of self-respect in these points:

1. Behave as the person you would like to be and to be seen to be.

2. Behave like a person who likes himself.

3. Act with kindness and dignity as often as you can.

4. Treat everyone you meet as worthy, equal adults.

5. If in doubt, administer love.

6. Follow the golden rule for building and preserving your self-esteem: always treat other people as if you believe they like you.

Final Sunday Male Beauty

Conscious of Their Community's Financial Clout, Gay Activists Want Action on Equality Issues, Not Just Talk.

I will admit that I am impatient by nature and like immediate results as opposed to a slow steady progress approach - especially on gay rights issues. I am also pretty direct by nature - as you may have guessed from some of my commentary - and I agree that it is time for our supposed political allies to deliver. On the issue of gay rights, my desire for action my stem in part from my many years in the closet and my desire to see needed changes in my lifetime. In addition, changes in federal legislation are critical for those of us living in backward states still largely controlled by politicians with a Christianist mindset. The issues I want resolved are the following: (1) hate crimes based on sexual orientation, (2) an employment anti-discrimination act including sexual orientation, (3) a repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” and (4) same-sex marriage/domestic partnerships.

With the upcoming Democrat debate on gay issues hosted by HRC and Logo, Newsweek has two articles worth checking out. Are they wonderful articles? No, but at least they are appearing in a widely circulated national magazine, thereby hopefully causing potential straight allies to understand why these laws are needed. Here are the links: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20124556/site/newsweek/ and http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20121789/site/newsweek/ Here are a few highlights:

Aug. 5, 2007 - In a crowded primary field, every vote counts. So it’s probably not surprising that six of the eight Democratic presidential contenders for 2008 plan to participate in the first debate devoted entirely to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues on Aug. 9 in Los Angeles. (Senators Joe Biden and Chris Dodd declined to attend, citing scheduling conflicts) Still, the event’s sponsors, the Human Rights Campaign and Viacom’s Logo cable TV network, are touting the event as an historic opportunity for the gay community to raise its issues on a national stage. The forum, moderated by Margaret Carlson of Bloomberg News, will run from 9-11 p.m. ET on Logo and Logo.com. (The sponsors say they invited GOP candidates to participate in their own gay debate, but that none signed on.)

While gay and lesbian voters have largely been a reliable voting bloc for Democrats at least since the ‘80s, some activists say their community is taken for granted by the party. Privately, political strategists say candidates walk a fine line between being progressive on gay issues and possibly alienating some conservative voters, including some Democrats. NEWSWEEK’s Kendyl Salcito spoke with John D’Emilio, a historian of gay history and professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago, about the upcoming event. Excerpts:

Only about four percent of the voting population is gay. Is the focus of a “gay debate” too narrow? Well, four percent self-identified as gay or lesbian or bisexual. There are two points to make about that. First, there are still people who won’t self-identify, so the figure is probably a little bigger—maybe six percent. And we know that the six percent is not equally distributed around the country. Urban areas are more likely to have a higher percentage than rural ones. You’re going to have larger populations in the state of Massachusetts than you’re going to have in North Dakota. So in some states this forum might make a bigger difference than in others.

More Sunday Male Beauty

Christian Post: America's "pro-gay" Culture Affects Iraqi Christians

I am taking this article written by Pam Spaulding verbatim from Americablog (http://www.americablog.com/2007/08/christian-post-americas-pro-gay-culture.html) - the photo is my contribution. It shows how loony the fundies are that now gays are indirectly being blamed it would seem for the kidnapping (and likely murder) of Iraqi Christians:

The Homosexual AgendaTM is a powerful thing, isn't it? I carry mine in my trusty lesbian fanny pack 24/7, with my secret decoder ring on ready to conspire with my allies to destroy not just civilization here at home, but the whole planet, as Daddy Dobson knows ("Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage. It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth." [The Daily Oklahoman, Oct. 23rd, 2004]).Western culture ("freedom" is apparently defined as "pro-gay") is now being blamed for the persecution of Christians in Iraq, according to Rev. Canon Andrew White -- vicar of the 1,300-member St. George’s Anglican Church in Baghdad.

White spoke about Western culture and values and their detrimental effects on Iraqi Christians...."It is seen as an immoral tradition. It is seen as a tradition that does not uphold values. It is seen as a tradition that does not uphold the respect for the kind of issues that the Islamic religion holds as very significant to them,” said the Anglican priest who has worked in Iraq for over a decade.

White said that the previous day he had received an email from some of the Christians in Baghdad asking him if it was true that the Church in America supported homosexuality...."These positions often held by Western Christians are not held by Iraqi Christians," emphasized White. "They are very, very different. My people say the Creed and they believe it. My people live a very upright, courageous and respectful life," said the pastor who had 36 of his congregants kidnapped with only one returned in the past month.

Pam goes on to say: I'm sorry, but blaming gays for the criminal behavior of others is outlandish and offensive. It's akin to a cultural/ religious "gay panic" defense for bigotry and violence between people of different faiths. If The Homosexual Agenda is all-powerful and all-consuming, why are we still second-class taxpaying citizens in our own nation? We do not have marriage equality, in many places we can still be fired from a job for being gay, we cannot serve openly in the military; in some states, such as Florida, we cannot adopt or foster children, the list goes on and on.

I love Pam's directness and no holds barred approach to calling out the fundies. If I ever get down Raleigh way, I'd love to look her up.

Sunday Male Beauty

Church Leaders Join Stockholm Gay Pride March

Would that the Lutheran Church in this country was as progressive on gay rights as its Swedish cousin. Don't get me wrong, the ECLA has taken some very pro-gay stances, but until gay clergy can be in committed relationships, there is still more ground to cover. Here are highlights from 365gay.com

(Stockholm) Swedish political and church leaders marched in Stockholm's LGBT pride parade Saturday, drawing large cheers and applause from thousands of people lining the streets of the capital. About 30 members of the Swedish Lutheran Church, including the deans of the cathedrals of Stockholm and Uppsala. The Church is the largest denomination in the country.

In a statement the church said it wanted to "break the masses' big silence" regarding gays, bisexuals and transsexuals. Representatives of the governing coalition and major opposition parties in Parliament also marched. The group included three cabinet ministers.

Earlier this year an international study of attitudes towards gays found Sweden the most the most welcoming country for gays. Early next year it is expected Parliament will approve a same-sex marriage bill. Sweden already has civil partnerships under a law enacted in 1995 that gives most of the rights and obligations of marriage to same-sex couples who register. But the country's LGBT community and moderate politicians have stepped up lobbying to have the law amended to permit gays and lesbians to marry.

A parliamentary committee studying the issue last year called civil partnerships outdated and has recommended Parliament allow same-sex marriage. It also would allow gay couples to marry in churches.