In a relationship, when one partner tries to treat the other partner like a puppet on strings, in my view, control not true love, seems to be the underlying basis for the relationship. Certainly, I believe it is the underlying motivation from the perspective of the controlling party. Whether this need to control arises from fear, jealousy, insecurity or some other emotion, the relationship cannot survive unless the other partner simply surrenders and allows them self to be controlled.If one truly loves another, they will love that person for who they are and seek to see that person grow and prosper. This is so even if this process decreases the lover’s extent to which they can control the other. The need to possess and control another person, whether in terms of who they are free to socialize with, what they are supposed to think and feel, or some other manifestation, is not a loving emotion under this analysis. Particularly, if the methods of attempted control involve alternating threats against the supposed beloved (perhaps including violence) and efforts to provoke pity and sorrow for the manipulating party. Any means to keep the dominated party from leaving.
Faced with this reality, if the would be controlling party shows an absolute unwillingness to change the relationship pattern, I believe the other partner has basically two choices: (1) surrender their soul and stay in the relationship, or (2) leave the relationship. Neither choice is necessarily easy. The first may result in the surrender of any real chance at fulfillment. The latter may likewise be the more difficult if the party leaving the relationship recognizes that the other partner, notwithstanding the failure of the relationship dynamics to be healthy, if he recognizes that the other party does have good qualities. If I am missing something, please illuminate me with your thoughts.
