Life Magazine’s “Homosexuality In America”: 1964.

Over the weekend I was talking to a straight friend of the boyfriend's who asked me if I ever knew that I was gay when I was growing up. I answered "yes and no." Yes, part of my knew the truth, but it was something I simply could not consider acceptable. It was something just too horrible to be true. The consequences were just to terrible. You see, I was 12 years old in 1964 and just at the point of realizing that while many of my male friends were becoming attracted to girls I was feeling attraction to some of my male friends. Being raised in conservative Central New York in a fairly traditional Catholic family, I already pretty much knew that same sex attraction was NOT something that one wanted to be experiencing. And then comes along Life Magazine's lengthy feature story on "Homosexuality in America." Yes, my family subscribed to Life Magazine and I recall seeing the story to my absolute horror. If I had inclinations to stay in the closet and deny who and what I was, this article certainly underscored the need to do so. The message to me and I suspect many other young gays of that era was that we could never, ever, admit to our feelings and that I/we needed to do everything possible to not be one of these people so maligned in the article. Box Turtle Bulletin looks at the piece as does Ronslog.com where the full article can be found. Here are some excerpts from the Life piece which along with Catholic Church brainwashing helped drive me deep into the closet for 37 years:

“Homosexuality shears across the spectrum of American life — the professions, the arts, business and labor. It always has. But today, especially in big cities, homosexuals are discarding their furtive ways and openly admitting, even flaunting, their deviation. Homosexuals have their won drinking places, their special assignation streets, even their own organizations. And for every obvious homosexual, there are probably nine nearly impossible to detect. This social disorder, which society tries to suppress, has forced itself into the public eye because it does present a problem — and parents especially are concerned. The myth and misconception with which homosexuality has so long been clothed must be cleared away, not to condone it but to cope with it.”

Over the next fourteen pages, Life magazine explored what they called the “sordid world” of the gay community. 

 Homosexuals everywhere fear arrest -- and the public exposure that may go with it. In Los Angeles, where homosexuals are particularly apparent on city streets, police drives are regular and relentless. The running battle between police and homosexuals has produced bitter feeling on both sides. Leaders of homophile societies in Los Angeles and San Francisco have accused the police of "harassment, entrapment and brutality" toward homosexuals.

Civil Service regulations – which govern 93 per cent of federal employees – state that a person is unsuitable for government employ if he is guilty of “criminal, infamous, dishonest, immoral or notoriously disgraceful conduct.” The Civil Service Commission maintains that homosexuals can be a disruptive influence in a government agency, that a homosexual in a position of influence is likely to bring other homosexuals into government service, and that where security is necessary they are a greater risk than heterosexual co-workers. When the commission has evidence than an employe or prospective employe is a homosexual, he is denied a job – or fired – for “immoral conduct.”

A Catholic viewpoint, which does not condone homosexuality but does regard it as a psychological problem, has been provided in a book, Counselling the Catholic, written for U.S. parish priests by Father George Hagmaier, C.S.P. and Father Robert Gleason, S.I. The book makes the point that in order to “bring one’s activity into accord with objective morality, one needs knowledge and one needs freedom. A defect in either will ordinarily imply some lessening of responsibility.” The authors conclude that, because they are subjected to this psychological disturbance, homosexuals do not have this freedom.

[I]in Florida early this year the Legislative Investigation Committee’s consideration of homosexuality produced an inflammatory report, calling for tougher laws to support the conclusion that “the problem today is one of control, and that established procedures and stern penalties will serve both as encouragement to law enforcement officials and as a deterrent to the homosexual [who is] hungry for youth.” Its recommendations would make psychiatric examination of offenders mandatory and create a control file on homosexuals which would be available to public employment agencies throughout the state. The report, which included an opening-page picture of two men kissing and photographs of nude men and boys, was so irresponsible that it brought attacks from the Dade County state’s attorney and the Miami Herald, which described it as an “official obscenity.”

You get the drift: why would any youth want to be gay when this is what a national magazine that came into your home every week had to say about gays?  It goes without saying that the years in the closet were damaging for me emotionally and psychologically.   They were no less unkind to those I loved and kept behind a glass wall so that they would never learn my horrible truth.  Finally, it got to the point where I had to either try to face reality or end my own life )something I came close to doing twice).