I've focused on bullying and the lies of the "ex-gay" myth a lot lately. The two go hand in hand because the fraudulent "ex-gay" propaganda fuels the animosity of bigots who often like to believe that LGBT individuals have chosen their sexual orientation. Both play a role in gay teen suicide. Another factor that can in some instances be a further catalyst pushing LGBT youth towards suicide is parental rejection and/or refusal to accept their children as God made them. Driving home, I spoke by telephone with Alise Williams, bullycide victim Christian Taylor's mother, who expressed what to me EVERY decent parent should feel towards their child: gay, straight or whatever, I love and will continued loving him/her because he/she is my son/daughter. Sexual orientation should not matter to a loving parent. Sadly, too many LGBT youth are not dealt that hand. A case in point increasingly seems to have been openly gay 18 year-old high school student Lance Lundsten who took his life back in January, 2011. Timothy Kincaid has a post at Box Turtle Bulletin that, while focused on the local media's attempts to cover up Lundsten's suicide, also offers some disturbing commentary on his father, Jon Lundsten. If true, Jon Lundsten may have helped set the stage for his own son's death. I don't know if Kincaid's conjectures are accurate, but if they are, as a parent myself, I cannot comprehend the mindset. Was pleasing the Catholic Church - and likely, worrying about his own embarrassment at having a gay son - worth a his son's life? Here are some post highlights:*
[L]ack of “factual basis” did not limit others from engaging in a public relations effort to deny who Lance was, squelch any talk about issues that could have led to his death, and craft a pretty lie to replace the story that fellow students were presenting. Rather than allow the tragedy to be an opportunity to acknowledge that Alexandria, MN, has a culture of animus and hostility towards gay people, including their own children, those who should have protected Lance instead joined together to bully him after his death.
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Lance had a strained relationship with his parents and was living with his grandparents at the time of his death. After his son killed himself, his father stepped up as spokesman for his estranged and now dead son and declared that it was a medical condition that killed the young man.
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And although the coroner refuted this claim, Jon Lundsten was not interested in considering whether his son had been bullied or whether Jon’s own difficulties with his son had contributed in any way to Lance believing that life was not worth going on. So he stuck with his “enlarged heart” tale.
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Besides diverting any need to talk about any icky gay stuff, this solved a more immediate problem. Declaring Lance’s death not to be a suicide allowed for his memorial and burial to be through the Catholic Church. Rev. Father Steve Binsfeld could officiate.
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And Jon Lundsten had found himself an ally in his campaign of denial and deceit: Al Edenloff, the editor of the local newspaper. . . . . But across town, the television news was not going along with Jon Lundsten’s diversion. Instead, they ran a story on the reports of bullying, talked with the coroner’s office, interviewed a gay former student from Jefferson, and exposed the truth that Jon Lundsten, Al Edenloff, and Terry Quist wanted to keep hidden.
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And fellow students who saw through all the denials began to band together, insisting that if the adults wouldn’t protect gay kids, then they would do what they could to help.
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Not to sound cruel, but I hope Jon Lundsten is haunted the rest of his life with the knowledge that he might have been a cause of his son's suicide. He engaged in a form of child abuse that to me is unconscionable.
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