As readers who saw a post I put up on Monday afternoon know, I went into a very serious melt down when I learned that the ex-wife had rejected what I saw as a fair settlement offer to end the post divorce wars which have been raging the last 10 months. Repeated court hearings with instances of gay bashing and - in my opinion anti-gay biased judges - had slowly but surely ground me down. Without going into all the details, I found myself in an involuntary stay at a local inpatient facility that bears some resemblance to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, at least in terms of some of the patients. My advice to anyone who may be thinking of doing something that might lead to such an result: DO NOT DO IT!! It was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life and in terms of what I need, did nothing for me since the program included no quality one on one therapy and most of the patients had much more difficult issues than my depression. Fortunately, I was released today and will now be able follow up with regular therapy and visits with my psychiatrist - perhaps exploring some other meds options in the process since my current ones obviously did not do the trick as needed. Virginia is not known for quality mental health facilities and/or accessibility which I got to observe first hand.*
I will confess that I have not been in individual therapy to the extent that I should have been largely due to the cost involved. Once I pay the monthly amounts I must pay the ex-wife and other recurring monthly expenses, I simply do not have the funds to cover co-pays/deductibles on meds, therapy and monthly doctor visit, etc. A Richmond based non-profit is going to help me with some of these costs and I will make a dedicated effort to stick with the therapy program and stay on the full dosage of my medications.
*
One thing that was noteworthy this morning before the hearing to have me released is that the doctor that I spoke with and who backed my release understood the way gays are treated by the Virginia court system. Through other programs in which the doctor is involved, including Ryan White fund access, she said that the homophobia in the Virginia court system and among judges was horrific. She shook her head but was not surprised when I told her how one judge had stated that being gay was "a choice" and that therefore my divorce was due to my "choice" and, therefore, was all my fault as he proceeded to endeavor to wipe me out financially. I also advised the doctor how the Judicial Review Commission does NOTHING to repremand homophobic judges. She concurred that it is a travesty that needs to be stopped.
