Bullying is Not Okay, Even if You Call it "Spiritual Care"

Back shortly after Halloween I wrote about a mother who allowed her young son to dress as Daphne from Scooby Doo (see photo at left) - a decision that created a great deal of flack and mockery at the boy's church affiliated pre-school. This outstanding, supportive mother wrote about her experience on her blog here under the caption "My Son is Gay." Well, even though no one was referred to by name in her blog post and the name of the school was not given, the godly modern day Pharisees at the church have been none too happy that the hypocrisy and nastiness was exposed and this wonderful mother has been paying the price. All under the guise of "spiritual care," of course. The amount of evil done under the guise of spiritual care would fill countless volumes of ledgers. Fortunately, this plucky mom has not backed down and, albeit disillusioned by with her church, she once again gets the message that the church ladies and pastor do not. Here are some highlights from her follow up blog post:
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Let me be very clear, this is not a manifesto against organized religion, church, Christianity, its various denominations, etc. This is about a singular event, the repercussions it has had on me and my family, and the fact that bullying can come from just about anywhere
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My blog post was calling out the actions of a few people that said some unkind things in front of my son. I asked for love and tolerance. Was I angry? Yes. I feel I had a right to be. Did I bear false witness? No. I spoke out against bullying. Now I am getting bullied from church.
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The first time Pastor contacted me was a few days after the Halloween post. He wanted to discuss my “spiritual care.” It was immediately clear that I was being viewed as having done something very wrong. Our initial conversation was me being called “defensive,” “vindictive,” “disrespectful,” “prideful,” and told that I “crossed a line.” I was told I needed to do penance. I was not asked about how Boo [my son] was doing.
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I was told that some members [of the church] were worried that I was “promoting gayness.” I don’t even know what that means. The words I had written were not promoting anything other than unconditional love and tolerance. My post was about bullying and how my son was treated. My post was about a 5-year-old child. Pastor said he “tried to be mad at me, but couldn’t.” I didn’t and don’t understand why he would want to be mad at me. Again, Boo’s well-being was not mentioned.
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I was offered 4 steps to restore my relationships with Moms ABC: 1.Write Moms ABC an apology with an example of how to word it. 2.Take down the Halloween post. 3.No longer write or speak of these women regarding my “accusations.” 4.Consider taking the entire blog down.
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When I asked what happens if I couldn’t do those things I was handed a final page that had already been prepared regarding my unwillingness to repent and what the ramifications of that would be. My punishment was to be disallowed from receiving Communion, and if I were to continue to not seek forgiveness, I may be removed from the congregation and not be able to transfer to another church in our denomination in good standing
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I cannot tell you the betrayal I feel. The church, or at the very least Pastor is trying to bully me into shutting up, and I find that so disheartening. I am floored by the fact that they’ve gone to so much trouble regarding a post that discusses love and tolerance that was posted 3 months ago. I am shocked that they do not see the hypocrisy of what they are saying to me. I am in complete disbelief that this has been handled in the way it has. I have never felt less welcome in a church. This is not the church that I grew up in. This is not the God that I know. And again I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow and call it ‘spiritual care.’
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I welcome this outstanding mother to the club comprised of those of us who believe in the Gospel message of love and tolerance yet find ourselves outcasts in many churches where hate, division, and hypocrisy are the true gods that are worshiped.