Yes, my straight friends and family, you do have to choose.
The days of enduring your hypocrisy are over.
I’m exhausted by trying to spare your feelings.
I’m tired of hearing you say you love me. You support me. You love my wife. Then keep voting for people who openly advocate discriminating against me. Your silence in the face of hate crimes and anti-gay slurs.
No, this is not an abstract concept. You do not get to make yourself feel better by telling your friends about your gay sister, your gay brother, your gay son or daughter to prove you are not homophobic.
This is not some lofty conversation about some nameless, faceless, far off minority group trying to undo your safe, tidy, suburban lifestyle. I am your blood. I am your co-worker. I am your neighbor.
No, I will not tolerate you saying “oh, I don’t mean you.” “You’re not radical like them.”
I am them. When you talk about them, you talk about me. When you vote for a bigot, you vote against me. You do not get to pretend that because you have some other issue you care about that the harm done to me or my life is somehow incidental, acceptable collateral damage for which you have no responsibility.
You are responsible for your vote. You are responsible for the attacks on my very existence that are ongoing this very day. You are complicit because you fail to tell those lawmakers not to harm me or make my life harder.
So, let me be clear: This is personal. Your words matter. Your silence matters.
Every time you choose to ignore a public statement or post about my relationship, my fears for my marriage, and my very safety, you are siding against me. You are not standing with me. And if you are not standing with me then I must conclude you are against me.
That is what breaks my heart. Your need to be comfortable instead of your need to show your love for me. Your fear of what others think that overrides your ability to publicly show the world that you love me unconditionally.
Unconditionally. That means no conditions. Unequivocally. Regardless of consequence. Unconditional love is hard. Trust me, it’s painful when your love & support for me is obviously conditional.
I see you when you hesitate, hedge, ignore the post, call me on the phone to say happy anniversary because you can’t risk the public statement. When you can’t acknowledge my marriage the way you do your other children’s. When you tell me privately that you worry I speak out too much. That’s ironic because the best thing you could do to ensure my safety is to tell the world you will not tolerate anything less than equality for me.
Let’s get real. You’re not worried about me; you’re worried about what others will think about you.
The bottom line is this. I do need you to choose. I need you to show me you love me by telling the world exactly that. I need you to care as much about protecting my feelings as you do the rest of your straight friends, family, and co-workers. I need you to love me enough to vote for my equality and the equality and safety of every LGBTQ person in your life.
Yes, it’s time for you to pick a side. We need you to love us enough to take our side.
Tuesday, October 06, 2020
The Hypocrisy of Straight "Friends" & Family Who Vote Republican
column that lays this choice out well. Purported friends and family members must take sides and, if they care about LGBT friends and family members have no option but to vote Democrat. Here are column highlights: