Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Consider Making Thanksgiving Extra Queer And Awkward for Bigots


The year end holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years are often difficult for many in the LGBT community. For some, they've been disowned by the Bible thumping relatives and find themselves creating "new families" to replace what they have lost. For others, the holidays are an period of retreating back into the closet - sometimes leaving life partners at home - rather than encounter debates and possible hard feelings with intolerant relatives. Fortunately, the boyfriend and I both have families where we are fully accepted and we can pretty much talk about any issue. Okay, maybe not some of my views on religion, but pretty much anything else. For those not as lucky, GLESEN has a campaign to encourage LGBT individuals to resit the urge to quietly slink back in the closet or to bite their tongues around the dinner table. Living out and proud and speaking out is the most powerful thing that we can do to change hearts and minds. Here are some highlights from GLESEN's web site:

This Thanksgiving, Let Aunt Betty Feel a Little Awkward…

The LGBT community has a ton to be thankful for from the past year. But we also have a long way to go. And believe it or not, putting down that forkful of stuffing for a minute and just talking about yourself (if you can) this Thanksgiving can make a huge difference.

We've all had those Thanksgiving dinners where Aunt Betty decides this is the perfect time to discuss a year's worth of ailments and medical treatments. Well, you know what? If she can talk about her podiatrist, you can talk about your partner.

The fact is, while you're scarfing down mashed potatoes and staying silent while everyone else at the table is freely speaking their minds, you're missing a golden opportunity to make real, honest progress by talking about your life, and the things you care about. It's okay if Aunt Betty feels a little awkward at first, it's important for her to know that someone she loves cares deeply about LGBT equality. And the more we all talk about what's important to us, the less awkward those conversations will become.

Today some LGBT people can't be open about who they are. But if you do feel comfortable, speaking openly and honestly about your life with your loved ones is one of the best ways for all of us to move forward together.


Yes, speaking out can be scary as Hell. But the changes that can ensue are at times amazing. I don't flaunt that I'm gay to friends or clients. But I don't hide it either. This past Sunday the boyfriend and I went to church with is parents and stayed for a pre-Thanksgiving luncheon. When a woman asked if I was my father-in-law's son, I said no, but said I was the son's domestic partner. She took it in stride and didn't flinch. And this was in a Baptist church albeit not a Southern Baptist church.

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