No Excuses, No Delays

Nadine Smith (pictured at left) has an interesting post over at Bilerico Project in which she poses the following question:

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At a recent speaking engagement, I asked a group of people what the world would be like if from the day they were born prejudice had never touched their lives. No homophobic bullying in school. Supportive families at homes No trans-bashing humor on TV. No workplace discrimination. Equal treatment of all families regardless or orientation or gender identity. No closet, ever, because you had never, ever needed one.

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Nadine then goes on to propose that we LGBT Americans undertake living "as if" that day of freedom from discrimination had already arrived. It is in living our everyday lives openly and with dignity that we have the most powerful weapon against bigots who would seek to make us less than fully human. By showing the world that we are normal people from literally all walks of life - police, firemen/women, doctors, lawyers, sports figures, the list goes on and on - that we destroy the nasty stereotypes that our enemies seek to disseminate and sustain. Nadine also poses this challenge to all of us:

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Am I willing to take that risk? Are you? Are we all? We march, we lobby, we educate, we protest and we should and we must. But it seems increasingly clear to me that we must now do what civil rights movements have always done: with forethought and solemnity place ourselves visibly at odds with an unjust law to provoke the consequences that can prick the conscience of our country.

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In my own case, I do try to live openly and proud. The boyfriend and I routinely introduce ourselves as a couple and I no longer hide the fact that I'm gay if asked. As one of the few totally out attorneys in this area there are clearly costs involved. Being gay and out caused me to be forced out of a law firm back in November, 2004, when my firm merged with a larger firm which did not want a gay partner. Yes, they dressed up the reason for my ouster as something else, but I knew the real reason based on other prior comments and criticisms. I suspect other larger firms in the area would never hire me for the same reason. Being out has also resulted in me being shunned by former GOP acquaintances and it's possible I may have potential clients who might decide against using my legal services because I am gay.

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On the positive side, I know I have clients who have rethought their bigotry by knowing me and I feel I have opened some minds in my church and the community. Moreover, I can simply be who I am and not live in fear of having "my secret" discovered. Not living with that terror is more liberating than words can fully express. I encourage readers who remain in the closet to consider coming out and helping prove that our enemies are liars. Yes, it is scary - VERY scary - but the psychological and emotional rewards are immeasurable.