Why Coming Out Matters

I realize that I am guilty of having stayed in the closet for many, many years - indeed, I could not even intellectually accept the fact that I was gay. Thus, I am sympathetic to those who choose to stay in the closet until they rally the strength to decide to come out or like me reach a point where I either had to come out or kill myself. However, as Andrew Sullivan rightly notes by coming out of the closet we kill stereotypes and give a human face to who LGBT Americans are and undercut the lies disseminated daily by Christianist and Mormon zealots. The simple truth is that of those who know someone who is gay, the majority support gay marriage (and other rights for LGBT Americans). We need to expose those who do not yet know someone gay to who we really are. It's easy to hate some theoretical person, but suddenly when that person is your friend, neighbor, or fellow church member, it is far more difficult to hang on to old prejudices. Here are some of Andrew's thoughts on the topic:

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If gays are really serious about marriage rights, they need to accelerate the process of coming out. It's not often that a minority group has this option - African-Americans don't. But gays, like Jews, can "pass", and by passing, we don't even give many people the option of changing their minds and hearts by better understanding who we are, and why our relationships and families strengthen society rather than weakening it.

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Yes, donate and campaign and blog. But for all of those of you out there who are gay and do none of this, one simple political act can do much more: let your family, friends and co-workers know who you are. If you don't, please quit complaining about your lack of civil rights.