I created a bit of a fire storm in terms of e-mails based on my last posting. First, I was taken to task for only posting photos of younger men as opposed to more mature men. Then I was told by one closeted reader that "one of the reasons I don't come out is due to the attitude of many younger gays." Lastly, I was accused of being perhaps shallow myself since I only post photos of younger guys.
Truth be told, I have on occasion posted photos of more mature men – Richard Gere comes to mind as one. The reality is that it is MUCH harder to find artistic and somewhat alluring photos of more mature guys. Do a Google search of “male models” and see how many sites you find with older models. I will tell you – not all that many. Perhaps it is a symptom of our society’s obsession with youth. I DO spend time trying to find quality photos for posts and avoid the X-rated sleaze found on many blogs (the majority of which sadly get much higher traffic than this one). Anyone who has photos they would like to contribute for consideration, please send them my way.
Another e-mail asked me “However, when talking about the necessary "chemistry", does intellect really take a priority? Face it, the physical is what titillates. . . . How many older men have you enjoyed conversations with, but would not begin to spark a relationship because of age?” In response, for me what sparks “chemistry” is hard to define. Honestly, intellect DOES factor in for me as a critical element and, if not present, eliminates a guy from serious consideration. Yes, looks may get me to take the first glance, but there must be more to a guy. Moreover, I do not see myself as being attracted to only one “type.” It’s the total package that matters and over time I have found a variety of guys most attractive. In my straight life, I could never understand the men with the bimbo “trophy wife” with an IQ of perhaps low average at best. Once they have had sex, how on earth do they have a conversation (not to mention that they guy might end up with equally dim witted children)? To me, it is no different with a gay couple.
I guess my real point in the prior post is that I wish we gays would treat each other better. If we do not look out for one another, our enemies and most of society clearly will not.
Another e-mail asked me “However, when talking about the necessary "chemistry", does intellect really take a priority? Face it, the physical is what titillates. . . . How many older men have you enjoyed conversations with, but would not begin to spark a relationship because of age?” In response, for me what sparks “chemistry” is hard to define. Honestly, intellect DOES factor in for me as a critical element and, if not present, eliminates a guy from serious consideration. Yes, looks may get me to take the first glance, but there must be more to a guy. Moreover, I do not see myself as being attracted to only one “type.” It’s the total package that matters and over time I have found a variety of guys most attractive. In my straight life, I could never understand the men with the bimbo “trophy wife” with an IQ of perhaps low average at best. Once they have had sex, how on earth do they have a conversation (not to mention that they guy might end up with equally dim witted children)? To me, it is no different with a gay couple.
I guess my real point in the prior post is that I wish we gays would treat each other better. If we do not look out for one another, our enemies and most of society clearly will not.
1 comment:
I, too, include personality and intelligence in my "chemistry" equation. Yes, a man may be attractive to me yet I will find out if he can hold an intelligent conversation before even considering anything physical. And I have dated/been attracted to/slept with men that others thought were physically unattractive because their minds and hearts and spirits made them physically beautiful to me.
Lithus and I were flipping through a magazine the other night and I realized, even just for the looking at and appreciating, I don't like men who are young, who are perfectly smooth, who are classically pretty.
Women face a similar situation in the straight community. Those of us who "have great personalities" in our late teens and early twenties are treated with the same disdain and disregard (although I was shocked by the open nastiness of our friend's experience.) I have had men stand me up and turn me down because I wasn't a size 2 and blond. Luckily for me, the boys in the straight community grow up to be men and come to appreciate (for the most part) complete, well-rounded (in more ways than one) women. I don't know why this same shift doesn't happen within the gay community (because seriously, who *wouldn't* want a chance to date our friend?????)
*sigh*
And, while I do wish you would post more photos of older, more mature men, you do post them. Which makes this Pobble very happy. :)
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