Living Out and Proud - Returning to and Facing the Pst

The Hampton Roads Pride launch fundraiser for Out in the Park 2012 that I wrote about earlier in the week that took place this evening at the home of Susan and Paul Hirschbiel in Virginia Beach. It was a wonderful event and seems to have raised much of the additional funding that is needed to put on this year's "Out in the Park" event on August 18, 2912 in Town Point Park on the Norfolk waterfront. For me, however, even thought the event was obviously a safe venue (especially with me being a member of the HR Pride Board of Directors), it was nonetheless a bit unnerving. Why? Because the event was held in my former neighborhood where I lived for 18 years during the "straight phase" of my life. Yes, the same neighborhood where after I came out I suddenly became invisible, if you will, despite my many years of civic involvement that ranged from the PTA, local civic league, to the neighborhood pool association. It was an eye opening experience that brought home to me how few real friends I had.

Sometimes it is hard to let go off past hurts and slights no matter one's age or the age at which one came out and finally admitted to themselves and others who they really are. Not surprisingly, not many of my former neighbors were at the event. But some did attend, including a great straight couple with whom I had lost contact. The husband was my son's boy scout leader and my oldest daughter coached the neighborhood pool swim team that their boys swam for over a number of summers. They no longer live in the old neighborhood either, but it was great reconnecting and having them meet the boyfriend. The irony is that they confessed that they never liked the old neighborhood which they viewed as rather right wing in retrospect. Not that I knew their thoughts at the time that I lived in the neighborhood. Moreover, their favored circle of friends now includes many members of the gay community. I suspect that we will do more with them socially in the future.

Facing the past and old haunts and demons can indeed be frightening. But facing past demons can be liberating and prove that not all of you fears were justified. The best revenge is to be proud of who you are and refuse to allow others to diminish who you are. It's a lesson that sadly took me too many years to learn. I hope readers don't make my mistakes.

On a different note, the evening provided a great opportunity to get to speak with Paul Hirschbiel who is running for Congress and challenging hate group endorsed Scott Rigell. Check out Paul's website and support his effort. The nation doesn't need haters and Christianists like Rigell in Congress.