Holiday Thoughts - Christmas NineYears After Coming Out

This Christmas is so very different from the first few years after I came out when sadness and depression were my prevailing experience. I mourned times past and floundered about wondering if I'd ever have a happy future and whether I'd ever have someone special in my life. At the time, it felt like it would never happen and suicide was a frequent thought in my mind. Everyone told me to be patient and that things would get better. Patience is something far easier to contemplate in theory than actually put into practice. But, things did get better - not as rapidly as I wanted - and I have in many ways achieved what I had hoped for when I first came out and had the world I had known largely vanish. My words to readers struggling in the early stages of coming out - especially those who married and had children as I did - is to be patient and believe that it will get better. I am proof that it can and does happen.

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The long weekend promises to be hectic, but far better than the sad and lonely holidays not so long ago. Last night and today have been a marathon so far, and the day is not even half over. We've had a Christmas brunch for the boyfriend's family (22 guests) and now soon we will be headed to Virginia Beach for Christmas Eve dinner with one of the boyfriend's clients/friends and her family. After that we'll hit the midnight service at First Lutheran in Norfol before returning to Hampton. Tomorrow we have an open house for friends at our home and then on Sunday a gathering of my family including my mother who is down from Charlottesville. Needless to say, blogging will be hit or miss for much of the weekend.

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As for the boyfriend, he continues to be a gift from God and I am truly blessed to have him in my life - even if on occasion I say to him "Yes, mein Furher" when he gets a little bossy. He loves me and cares for me as no one ever has before and seems to see things in me that I do not see. And his sweetness extends not only to me, but my children and his family and clients. I received my Christmas present (pictured above left) from him a few days early. Now I will now be able to give my Jeep to my son who is in need of a vehicle. Yes, it does get better - just not on our schedule at times.