The Importance of Teaching Children About Homosexuality

The anti-gay forces of the Christian Right whine incessantly about the threat of children learning that - oh the horror - gays exist in society and for that matter always have throughout recorded history. Some, in fact, have accomplished great deeds in politics and warfare (e.g., Alexander the Great, Richard the Lion Hearted) and created some of the world's greatest art (e.g., Michelangelo, Cellini, da Vinci). The Christianists can deny our existence, but sooner or later their children will learn that we exist. Indeed, some of their precious children will prove to be gay themselves, thus the need for them to know that they are normal despite the religious poison they may be fed by their parents and preachers. A column in Psychology Today looks at why children need to be taught about homosexuality. Here are some highlights:

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When people think about children, rarely is their focus on how homophobia can hurt them. Usually it is raised when talking about a gay parent and how they may "impact" their offspring, or how the behavior of gay and lesbian adults will influence them. But even more rarely do people concentrate on how homophobia impacts children, gay and straight alike-which is far worse than anything a child might be exposed to in a gay pride parade or in observing gay relationships.

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Studies show, in fact, that developing gay or lesbian adolescents can handle their sexual orientation. What they can't cope with is the homophobic acts and verbal statements they encounter in the media or in their schools, homes or communities. A heterosexual adolescent can no more handle acts of homophobia upon him or her as well.

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Homophobia is the feeling(s) of fear, hatred, disgust about attraction or love for members of one's own sex. It is prejudice, based on the belief that lesbians, and gays are immoral, sick, sinful or somehow inferior to heterosexuals. It results in fear of associating with lesbians and gays in close proximity-physically, mentally and/or emotionally-lest one be perceived as lesbian or gay, and fear of venturing beyond "accepted" gender role behavior.

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Warren J. Blumenfeld edited an excellent book called, Homophobia: How We All Pay The Price, in which he writes about how not only gays and lesbians, but heterosexuals suffer from acts of homophobia. Specifically:

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1. First, homophobic conditioning compromises people's integrity by pressuring them to treat others badly-actions contrary to their basic humanity. This is where bullying begins, particularly against young boys who might be gay or effeminate ones who don't conform to male stereotypes. Calling other boys "faggot" and "queer" takes the focus off of the bullies.

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2. It inhibits the ability to form close, intimate relationships with members of one's own sex, generally restricts communication with a significant portion of the population and, more specifically, limits family relationships. Limited communication contributes to the alarmingly high 30% suicide rate among adolescents who are either gay or lesbian and/or worry they might be.

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3. Homophobia is used to stigmatize, silence and, on occasion, target people whom OTHERS perceive or define as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but who are actually heterosexual. It locks all people into rigid gender-based roles, which inhibit creativity and self expression.

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4. Homophobia is one cause of premature sexual involvement, increasing the chances of teen pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (or STDs). Young people of ALL sexual identities are often pressured to become HETEROSEXUALLY active to prove-to themselves and others-that they are "normal."

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5. Societal homophobia keeps some LGBT people from developing an authentic self-identity, adding to the pressure to marry. This in turn places undue stress and often trauma on them, as well as on their children and heterosexual spouses. People never stop to think of the children who suffer as a result of mixed marriages between a heterosexual and a gay man or lesbian. Society tells us not to live an out and openly gay and then, when we finally can no longer live in the closet, questions them and asks, "Well, why did you get married in the first place?" This is crazy making!

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6. Homophobia, combined with fear and revulsion of sex, eliminates discussions about the lives and sexuality of LGBT people as part of school-based sex education, keeping vital information from all students. Such a lack of information can kill people in the age of AIDS.

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Obviously, reason number 5 particularly hits home with me. But for the societal and religious atmosphere of homophobia in which I was raised, perhaps I could have accepted myself as God made me and avoided a great deal of pain on both my part and others. I concede that I'd go through the misery all over again to have my children, but society truly needs to recognize the damage done by trying to force gays to marry and conform to an ideal they will never be able to achieve. So much pain, so much unhappiness - all because of closed minded religious bigotry and deliberate ignorance.