In August of this year the Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America ("ELCA") will be taking up two action items that - if approved - could make the ELCA one of the most gay affirming mainline denominations. One item is a social statement on human sexuality that would recognize gay relationships even if not granting the title :marriage." The second issue is that of allowing partnered gays to be rostered clergy. The committees formulating the two policy changes recommend them for approval, but there's no telling how voting members at the Assembly will vote. Since I am sure that the opponents of gay rights within the ELCA will be vocal in their opposition, I wrote a letter to the voting members who will be attending from the Virginia Synod. I hope others in the ELCA who seek full membership for LGBT members will do likewise. Here is the text of my letter:*
I am writing you because it is my understanding that you will be a voting member at the August, 2009, Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (“ELCA”) where two of the action items have special significance to me. One concerns the proposed modification of Ministry Policies and would allow partnered gays to be rostered clergy. The other deals with approval of the social statement “Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust.” As a gay member of First Lutheran Church Norfolk I want to share my prospective on why approval of both action items is so very important. Indeed, I believe that approval of these items is a tremendously necessary step toward ending what I see as the spiritual murder of gays and lesbians by Christian denominations.
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Words cannot adequately express the fear and often terrible self-hatred that one experiences growing up and coming to the realization that you are homosexual in our sexual orientation. For years I wondered why God has cursed me so and I tried prayer and other means to “change” myself to no avail. Yes, you can try to repress and deny the reality – and I did this for literally decades – but the truth is that one cannot change one’s sexual orientation, a fact now recognized by all of the legitimate medical and mental health associations in the United States but still ignored by the majority of Christian denominations. To be told that you are sinful and until recently criminalized takes a tremendous toll on one’s life and can lead to a life filled with unhappiness. In fact, I know of several gay men personally who committed suicide because they could not “change” and live in accord with what their churches taught them. One was a Lutheran. Then there are others I know who have been enrolled in bogus “ex-gay ministries” – often by their families - and come out still gay, but severely emotionally damaged. A few I know have become alcoholics as a result and others have felt no recourse but to walk away from a faith tradition that only condemns them.
Words cannot adequately express the fear and often terrible self-hatred that one experiences growing up and coming to the realization that you are homosexual in our sexual orientation. For years I wondered why God has cursed me so and I tried prayer and other means to “change” myself to no avail. Yes, you can try to repress and deny the reality – and I did this for literally decades – but the truth is that one cannot change one’s sexual orientation, a fact now recognized by all of the legitimate medical and mental health associations in the United States but still ignored by the majority of Christian denominations. To be told that you are sinful and until recently criminalized takes a tremendous toll on one’s life and can lead to a life filled with unhappiness. In fact, I know of several gay men personally who committed suicide because they could not “change” and live in accord with what their churches taught them. One was a Lutheran. Then there are others I know who have been enrolled in bogus “ex-gay ministries” – often by their families - and come out still gay, but severely emotionally damaged. A few I know have become alcoholics as a result and others have felt no recourse but to walk away from a faith tradition that only condemns them.
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In my own case, I married a woman and fathered three wonderful children. However, in the process I always maintained a “glass wall” between myself and my former wife, my children, and virtually everyone in my live. I lived as an actor on perpetual stage so than no one would learn of my terrible secret. The result was that I wasn’t the husband and father I should have been and I lived a life of constant fear of discovery and emotional isolation and self hate. Eventually I reached a point where I had to either face who/what I really was or end my life (something I have tried to do on two occasions, once almost succeeding). At this point in my life, I have (i) ended my marriage in a horrific divorce where I was treated exceedingly harshly due to my sexual orientation and (ii) finally come to terms with and accepted my sexual orientation. I am now in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful man who is one of the kindest, most compassionate, and most Christian acting in his actions towards others people I have ever met. I truly do not believe that God looks harshly on our love and relationship.
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In my own case, I married a woman and fathered three wonderful children. However, in the process I always maintained a “glass wall” between myself and my former wife, my children, and virtually everyone in my live. I lived as an actor on perpetual stage so than no one would learn of my terrible secret. The result was that I wasn’t the husband and father I should have been and I lived a life of constant fear of discovery and emotional isolation and self hate. Eventually I reached a point where I had to either face who/what I really was or end my life (something I have tried to do on two occasions, once almost succeeding). At this point in my life, I have (i) ended my marriage in a horrific divorce where I was treated exceedingly harshly due to my sexual orientation and (ii) finally come to terms with and accepted my sexual orientation. I am now in a committed loving relationship with a wonderful man who is one of the kindest, most compassionate, and most Christian acting in his actions towards others people I have ever met. I truly do not believe that God looks harshly on our love and relationship.
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By approving the new social statement on human sexuality and the revision of the Ministry Policies, the ELCA will be sending a long overdue message to gay Lutherans and other gay Christians that they are not cursed by God and that they are children of God as well. Selective parsing of the Bible or fear of change should not be used to perpetuate a message of shame and hate against gays and lesbians and the transgendered. Unless and until partnered gay clergy are allowed by the ELCA, the continued message to gay/lesbian members will be that they are not truly welcomed or considered as equal members of the Church. You can help stop the spiritual murder of so many.
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I urge you from the bottom of my heart to vote for approval of both of these measures.
1 comment:
Very nice!
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