Coming Out Travails

I have often advocated for LGBT Americans to come out and help force typical Americans to face the fact that they know gay Americans who may in fact be their neighbors, their children, their parents, their relatives or their friends and come to the realization that we are people just like they are. That said, it is not an easy journey to come out and, yes, I stayed in the closet for many, many years - far longer than I probably should have in retrospect. My journey coming out in mid-life has been anything but easy and as regular readers know, I certainly have my moments of sadness and despair as aspects of the divorce continue to play out. On the other hand, the rewards of living out and proud are beyond measure. Andrew Sullivan has a post that reminds us that timing can be critical in deciding when to come out. Here are some highlights from one of Andrew's readers:

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I wanted to respond to your post regarding the necessity of coming out. I came out to my mom during my first year of law school after falling in love with a wonderful man. Being from a Catholic and Latin American background, she did not take it very well. She wanted to put me in reparative therapy and was extremely verbally abusive until I was finally forced to move out of my home during my final week of exams.

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As you can imagine, I did terribly that semester. I had to sleep in my car and on friends’ couches until I was able to figure out whether to stay in law school or quit. I decided to finish school, and I recently graduated.

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I urge young people that are in still reliant on their parents to hold off coming out until they become financially independent. Unless you have family support, the consequences of coming out can be devastating. I was fortunate to have friends and a great boyfriend that gave me the support I needed to finish school and figure out who I was. I can only imagine where I would be without them.

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I am glad that I am out and I am proud to be gay. I do not regret one bit my decision, but I wish I had not been in such a vulnerable situation. I just speak from my own personal experience that often the price of being honest at a young age may be too high a price for some of us to pay.