I have had diverse reactions to my post this morning concerning the Christian allies of the cause of LGBT rights and in particular, Marriage in California. Some e-mailers have related their own positive experiences with gay accepting churches while others have questioned why I continue to have any involvement with organized Christianity other than working to show that it is, in their opinion, a big fraud. In answer to the latter question, I think there are at least two reasons for my continued adherence to Christianity and the ELCA in particular.*
First, I do believe that there is some higher being regardless of whether the name applied to such being is God, Allah, Jesus, or whatever. Personally, I believe in the New Testament Christian message even if I strenuously disagree with those who have turned that message into something hateful - e.g, James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, et al. I have read enough biblical scholarship articles and books to at this point believe that we will NEVER know the real, 100% truth about Christ and his message. The Bible cannot be taken literally. It has simply been subject to far too much political pressures, personal agendas of the Gospel writers and different church leaders, and restricted by the limited knowledge and world view of writers of the Bible's books. Anyone who claims otherwise is either a liar or a fool or both. Because of my personal beliefs, I have no intention of allowing others to drive me away from the Christian faith tradition that I hold.
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The second reason/process - which also extends beyond religion to other issues overcome if they are to successfully "come out" and achieve self-acceptance as a LGBT person -is the need to let go of past hurts and abuses. If you continue to grasp past hurts and continue to look backwards, these elements from the past will continue to define and destroy your life. It took me quite some time to figure this out notwithstanding my therapist's constant lectures that I needed to do so. All of us suffer hurt and abuse from many directions growing up and not just from the religious denomination within which one was raised. These hurts also come from family members or society as a whole. One must let go of the past hurts in order to move on and also be able to enjoy the present moment.
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In terms of religion, I have endeavored to put past hurts behind me even though I am vigilant in trying to do my part to expose hypocrisy and stop future generations of LGBT individuals from suffering similar hurts. Part of this process involved severing my ties with the Roman Catholic Church which was responsible for so much of the psychological/emotional harm I suffered as a closeted gay boy, youth and man. I am much happier in the ELCA which honors a tradition similar to what I held onto, but with far, far less hypocrisy, meanness, and the downright evil now present in the Catholic Church hierarchy. From a wider view, I have tried to put many other past hurts behind me including but not limited to my difficult relationship with my dad growing up, feelings of guilt from my marriage and divorce, and "friends" who rejected me when I came out. I will be the first to admit that letting go of such hurts from the past is hard. But unless you do so, I believe that it will be difficult (if not impossible) to find self-acceptance and a peace with yourself as a gay man or woman.
2 comments:
Thank you for stating this so well. I grew up a Methodist's preacher's kid. My parents were relatively liberal in their social beliefs, but I was also subjected to a lot of fanatacism and judgmental non-Christ-like Christiamism from others. It is a struggle for me not to be prejudiced against people of faith because the loudest of them are so bigoted, and even the meek and mild of them can often be just plain "backward." Yet I know there are more and more people of faith who are becoming open-minded and accepting.
Meanwhile, I have to remember that just because I have been leaning toward agnosticism, I know of many people whose faith is genuine and thoughtful and time-tested (i.e., as opposed to those who soak up dogma for dogma's sake).
I fear I am not stating it well; it's a complicated issue.
Please continue to say what you feel --unapologetically. Many of us need to hear from you.
Thanks for a balanced and thoughtful post. I think you're right when you suggest that everyone has been hurt, to some extent, but certainly some more than others. It's especially hard when you're hurt by the people you would expect to be safe with: family and church. Overcoming that hurt is tough, and we need help with it. Hanging on to faith can become a strength for us, and it's good to hear that you've done that. We need a higher power and a supportive community to get through the troubles of this world. Thanks, again.
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