Why Ralph Northam Should Not Resign

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This will be the last post on this topic hopefully for a while.  A great column in the New York Times lays out why the Democrats' insane, "no forgiveness ever" policy needs to be put on the trash heap.  Yes, the subject of the column is Ralph Northam, who the husband and I truly count as a personal friend - not just someone I name drop as some have alleged in nasty comments on Facebook - but the overall premise is, to me, 100% on point and needs to be heeded by both Democrats and Republicans if we are not to find ourselves in a dark place where one's entire life is ruined by foolish mistakes in the past.  And let's be honest as the column reminds us, most of us are guilty of some act or statement that under the Democrats' insane standard would damn us for life.  We've merely been lucky and not publicly exposed since we are not in the public eye.  It also reminds us that he/she who is totally without any sin is the only one fit to cast the first stone.  (Sadly, these concepts were lost on Equality Virginia which joined the rush to judgment and has perhaps permanently lost my support as a result, if I apply the no forgiveness ever standard EV embraced)  Here are column excerpts:

It’s probably for the best that Ralph Northam seems determined not to resign as governor of Virginia. He may have done something ugly and dumb many years ago, when he was a young man and prevailing notions of socially permissible behavior were uglier and dumber than they are today.

In the 35 years between those two points he has, by all appearances, lived an upstanding life without a hint of racial bias. If we are going to embrace a politics where that’s not enough to save a sitting governor accused of no crime, we’re headed toward a dark place.

I write this as someone who isn’t a Democrat and doesn’t share many of Northam’s views. Nor do I think he covered himself in glory when he accused his Republican opponent, Ed Gillespie, of “racist rhetoric” during the 2017 gubernatorial race, while an advocacy group allied to his campaign ran an ad that made out Gillespie supporters to be homicidal bigots intent on harming minority kids. What goes around comes around, and the temptation for schadenfreude is great.

Then again, each of us might want to perform an internal audit before we join the cast-the-first-stone coalition.

Ever told — or laughed at — a bigoted joke? I have, and I cringe today at what I once found funny. Ever used one of the more common ethnic or sexist slurs — “gypped,” for instance, or “bitch” — or dropped the f-word as it commonly refers to gay people? I’ve been guilty of this too, to my shame. Have ugly generalizations or snap judgments based on ethnic stereotypes perambulated through your mind, even if they didn’t fall out of your mouth? Guilty again.

I admit to all of this not as a form of moral — or immoral — exhibitionism, but because I think it’s true of the overwhelming majority of people irrespective of their race or gender. (If you don’t agree, audit yourself twice.) Few of us are proud of these lapses. Many of us are trying to be considerably more mindful about them. But most of us don’t rip ourselves to pieces over them, either.

That’s because we believe that our worst moments and dumbest utterances shouldn’t define us. That our youthful behavior is more of a reflection of what is around us than a representation of what’s inside. That we deserve to be judged by the decency of our intentions and the totality of our deeds. That we are entitled to a presumption of innocence, a measure of forgiveness, a sense for our times, and multiple opportunities for redemption.

Should Jesse Jackson’s entire life come down to the anti-Semitic words “Hymietown,” uttered by him in 1984 (and comically immortalized by Eddie Murphy)? Should Prince Harry forever be remembered as the royal who dressed as a Nazi? What about Joy Reid’s virulently homophobic blog posts, or Joe Biden’s racially condescending description of Barack Obama as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean”?

As I said, this is taking us to a dark place. It is hard enough for ordinary, decent people, aware of their shortcomings and capable of shame, to contemplate a career in politics; why would they ever do so if the statute of limitations on past indiscretions never expires? And if they won’t run, aren’t they just ceding the field to those with no shame?

Ralph Northam needs to clear up just who’s in that photo, so Virginians won’t think he’s lying. And he has an opportunity to speak powerfully about the legacy of a casual racism that tainted his generation of Virginians, and about the need for repentance and redemption. The best way for him to do so is as governor.