Do Gay Celebrities Have an Obligation to Come Out?

In the wake of Anderson Cooper's decision to belatedly "come out" yesterday, the debate has been ratcheted up on whether or not gay celebrities have an obligation to come out.  One view sees celebrity and the access to the media that it provides as putting pressure on closeted individuals to come out and shatter the stereotypes and stigma.  Others view the issue of coming out as a personal choice.  I guess I fall some where in the middle - unless the closeted celebrity or politician is engaged in anti-gay activity, in which case then my view is "out the bastard."  Our former Congressman in this area Ed Schrock who I helped expose was a case in point: second most anti-gay voting record in Congress even as he solicited gay sex trysts.  The New York Times as a dialogue on the issue.  First, the view that gay celebrities need to come out:   

Not all gay people in the media feel as radical as I do about why it’s important for gay celebrities to come out of the closet. But having been a teenager in the 1980s, I remember when there were no — as in zero — out role models for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender kids to emulate. Instead, we survived on rumors of Sapphic superstar love triangles and A-list leading men who joined cults that helped keep their gay secrets. Gossip has its own power, not to mention pleasure, but let’s face it: The world is a better place when people aren’t lying. 

So much has changed since that time, and there is now a platter of options for celebrities who want to come out. There’s the People magazine route (splashy, safe, widely-circulated); there’s the recent Matt Bomer path, when he casually, yet seismically, thanked his longtime male partner during a speech (see also: Jodie Foster); and there’s a new road that I really like, which is the Zachary Quinto/Jim Parsons method, in which an actor simply identifies himself as gay as part of a bigger story in a highbrow news outlet.

Cooper has struck me in recent years as an example of a closeted famous person who didn’t mean for his secret to become such a big deal, and found himself stuck. But I think he’ll find that it’s easy to go from being a part of the toxic problem of homophobic self-hatred to a hero. And who wouldn’t want that? 

But as I said, not everyone shares this view and I know people locally who continue to live a lie in the public life while having either enduring relationships or a string of conquests.  Their very behavior suggests that being gay is still something that is shameful.  Here's a countering view from the Times:

If we suggested that gay celebrities have a moral obligation to come out, then any celebrity would have the same responsibility to acknowledge any hidden situation whose disclosure could theoretically help society. The heartbreak of psoriasis? Do a public service announcement. A victim of sexual abuse? You need to go talk about it on “The View.” Going bankrupt? Get ahead of this story and help other Americans in similar situations.

Obviously this is a ridiculous standard. We’re talking about people’s romantic lives, which are, by definition, notoriously confusing and fickle.

I’ve always said there are four kinds of gays in Hollywood. There's the openly gay; the gay and everybody knows it but nobody talks about it; the married, closeted gay who doesn't talk about it; and the screaming “I’ll sue you if you say I'm gay” person. In other words, the no closet, the glass closet, the cast iron closet and the closet you get buried in.

Of course, it’s 2012. Celebrities and the rest of us have less privacy than ever before. But you still get to choose how openly you want to live your life — or at least you can try until blogs and tabloids out you. 

That being said, surely every celebrity who has ever come out is happier and freer of fear, helps other people, furthers the cause of gay civil rights, and lives a more open and authentic life. So if someone wants to stay in the closet, they’re not being immoral — just silly.

With the suicides of gay teens far too prevalent, the more celebrities who come out and provide a glimmer of hope to LGBT youth the better.   Remaining in the closet sends a potentially dangerous message to or youth and underscores the hate and bigotry preached weekly in far too many church pulpits.  To me making a difference and making life better for those who come after us should be a top aspiration in life.  Staying in the closet doesn't accomplish that goal.