My fellow blogger, Lyndon over at Slices of the Gay Pie (http://lgbtboomers2blogs.blogspot.com/), has written a very touching review of this blog. As I have told him there are times that I feel I cannot keep going and that the negative events going on in my life seem simply just too overwhelming (today is one of them), but then my blogger friends and readers will come through with touching and supportive comments and messages that help me to rally to face another day.
I hope that this blog has helped others and been a source of support as well as entertainment. For me, it is not only therapy, but often is a life line that keeps me from slipping away into total despair. We in the LGBT community truly need to be supportive of one another, because if we do not provide support to each other, then no one will. Here in the USA, we certainly cannot count on our community and political leaders or the majority of our alleged spiritual leaders. All too often, they are in fact our biggest enemies.
Many of you perhaps wonder whether if I had it to do over again, would I come out knowing the devastation that would accompany it. The answer is "yes," because living a lie and never being true to myself was too high of a price to pay for perceived stability.
I guess one of the things I have found the most bizarre from the vicious divorce process is that in my estranged wife's view, I am not entitled to have any happiness or self-acceptance. My inner peace and happiness were/are utterly irrelevant. I was simply supposed to sacrifice everything for her and/or my children, yet there is no such required sacrifice on their part for me. I was/am truly the "Disposable Male" as in the title to a book my therapist told me about. No one should be expected to continue living in a circumstance where they are disposable. Yet, I believe that is too often the norm in straight America. The USA truly has a perverted culture.
3 comments:
Your not-soon-enough-to-be-ex-wife is very wrong about some very important things. Even in your minor role in my life, as favored blogger, you have been valuable to me.
Java,
Thanks for the kind words. I truly appreciate it very much.
Disposable? Well, that is the impression. The historic norm -- work, provide, work, provide, work and more work. In between the raindrops, somewhere, we find ourselves and realize that we should have some appreciation, encouragement, recognition. The traditional husband/wife arrangement wherein one is the "head" bread winner can be very exhausting on the one who truly puts everyone and everything before even beginning to think about self. The best relationships are those where the couple is equal, understanding and giving. I read your blog with great interest because I fear it may eventually be my reality as well. My children are very important to me and truly every child deserves the best parents can give. But, there are those days when I've just had enough. You show that it can be done, but also that a strong support network is vital for self preservation. You are very valuable to many who know you. Just think of the many readers who, for whatever reason, are unable to respond or comment. You'll never know exactly how much you mean to us all. This, too shall pass, and you will begin a new and (if can believe it) even better life. Through your writings, we see a person who is thoughtful and respectful, caring and kind, and when you occasionally post an image, we know that you're quite a good looker, too (just had to throw that in to make you smile). Thank you for exposing yourself and helping the rest of us. We do appreciate you so much.
Post a Comment