After the divorce trial ordeal the other day, my post on the McGreevey divorce circus and reading on 365gay.com about a lesbian recently beat up by homophobes, I found myself thinking about all those harmed by homophobia. Obviously, there are the victims of gay bashings and assaults by bigots. Then there are all the LGBT individuals thrown out and disowned by their families. But the network of victims expands out so much wider. Yes, there are the spouses of closeted gays and lesbians who finally come out and marriages fall apart - my estranged wife certainly views herself as a victim - , but there are also the children of families like mine who have their parents separate and divorce, sometimes in nasty situations.
All of this damage and hurt because of self-righteous religious fanatics who judge and condemn based on who someone chooses to love and find sexually attractive. Worse yet, they base their judgments on a more than 2000 year old writing written by ignorant and tribal peoples who lacked scientific and mental and medical health knowledge now readily accessible to anyone who bothers to seek it. So many ruined or damaged lives. All caused by those who claim to follow a loving God or Prophet. It surely makes religion look to be a very evil force in the world.
For myself, I have chosen to no longer allow myself to be a victim. Yes, that choice has caused upheaval for others. But I hope in time that being true to myself and having the strength to say no to things I know are lies and untruths will actually show those who currently feel harmed or victimized a role model for how they should live their lives. You cannot live your life to please parents, one's church, society or family without eventually throwing away all your integrity and honesty.
4 comments:
In our society it still takes a lot of courage to be true to yourself. While it is much easier now than during mine and Michael's generation to come out or even admit to ourselves who we really are, it still takes more time and courage than those younger than ourselves. As Michael knows, I could have been in his same circumstance as when I was 27 I was engaged to be married. But I knew it just didn't feel right (I was on both sides of the fence sexually) and I called off the wedding. It was after that I decided once and for all what I was, a gay man. But it took almost another 27 years before I was comfortable enough with myself to finally start coming out to more than a chosen few. As Michael has said we all take risks at making a decision to come out, but until we finally do, we are never completely happy with our life. And hopefully for many that is a risk worth taking. I'm glad I did.
I love this post.
I am so PROUD of you, Michael!
Thanks for your positive comments. I truly appreciate them.
Michael
Post a Comment