Opposing Gay Marriage Does Make You a Homophobe

I frequently encounter people who will say that they are not anti-gay but in the same breath say they oppose gay marriage.  Nine point nine percent of the time these folks use the excuse that their "religious beliefs" require them to do so.  They, of course ignore the fact that we are talking about CIVIL LAW marriage, not church marriage.  Other excuses are that these individuals claim that they are "conservative" or that they cannot support changes to long established social practices.  They ignore, of course, the reality that slavery was a long accepted social practice for literally thousands of years and the corollary that, applying their reason, slavery should still be legal both in America and worldwide.  A piece in Slate takes on the premise floated in the Atlantic that argued (unsuccessfully in my view) that opposing gay marriage does not make one anti-gay.  The piece also acknowledges that many gays still suffer from severe internalized homophobia (I could name several that I know).  Here are article excerpts:

On Friday, Brandon Ambrosino penned a thoughtful essay in the Atlantic contending that opposition to gay marriage doesn’t necessarily signify homophobia. Ambrosino’s argument runs in a few different directions, but it’s essentially a riff on the old saw “love the sinner, hate the sin.” Ambrosino claims that “gayness is not the most fundamental aspect of my identity” . . . 

The primary problem with this kind of argument is that as easily as it can be trussed up in calls for tolerance, patience, and humanism, it can also be ripped to shreds by one simple question: Can a person oppose equal rights for gay people and not be, in some fundamental way, a homophobe? The answer seems to me to be a pretty obvious no. Opposition to gay marriage isn’t just some abstract principle with little practical effect. It’s a harmful belief with real-world consequences, and it has contributed immeasurable pain, sorrow, and suffering to the lives of gay people throughout history.

Those who oppose gay marriage drive the laws that inflict this daily humiliation unto gay couples and their children. That, put simply, is homophobia. A classic analog will throw this point into even sharper relief. It would be odd, even risible, to argue that opposition to interracial marriage didn’t hinge on racism.

Another piece in Huffington Post expands on this argument.  Here are highlights:

I'm less interested in specifically discussing marriage equality (but, for the record, if you think that queer people shouldn't be able to get married, then yes, you are anti-gay) and more interested in a subtler (or not-so-subtle) assumption and mistake that Ambrosino makes about the acceptance and understanding of queer people by our society.

[W]hen we conceive of homophobia as a boogeyman responsible for only the most obvious and egregious horrors, we miss the finer, nuanced, harder-to-see -- and therefore in some ways more dangerous -- moments that are also homophobic (however "polite" they might seem) and have very real consequences.

So, to clear up any confusion, here's an easy test to see if you're anti-gay:

• If you have a gay friend (or sister or coworker or...) but still think that queer people should not be able to get married, then you are anti-gay.
• If you're fine with queer people as long as you don't have to see them kissing or holding hands, then you are anti-gay.
• If you don't have anything against queer people but wouldn't want a gay man leading your son's scout troop, then you are anti-gay.
• If you think that inside queer people there is anything lurking -- however small -- that causes us to have any less integrity or humanity than straight people have, then you are anti-gay.

Basically, if you've got an issue with queer people and whom or how we love or live or get off -- whether you're a grandma in Detroit or the Pope in the Vatican -- then you're anti-gay.

You might not be "malicious" or marching in front of a pride parade with a poster that reads, "Fags Doom Nations," but you're still part of the problem, and if we all know what's good for us, we will no longer excuse your behavior no matter how good or kind you may otherwise be.

[I]it's time that we started drawing some lines in the sand. It's time that we made a promise to ourselves that we won't look the other way any longer. It's time that we started challenging each other and ourselves to be accountable to what we believe and what we espouse.

While we're at it, let's start calling bullshit when we see it. We aren't doing anyone any favors when we know something is untrue and explain it away as being about freedom of expression or freedom of religion. Sure, you can say whatever you want, but that doesn't mean we have to accept it or allow it.

And let me also take this moment to call bullshit on Ambrosino and any other queer person who excuses anti-gay thinking. Whether he realizes it or not, he is anti-gay. And yes, you can be queer and also anti-gay. Internalized homophobia is a very real thing, and even the most vigilant of us can succumb to it. But we can't coddle that kind of thinking any longer.

Personally, I am over cutting people sack on their defense that their anti-gay positions are based on "sincerely held religious beliefs."  The truth is that science has confirmed that Adam and Eve never existed as historical persons. That being the case, "the Fall" never occurred and hence their was no need for Christ's role as Messiah.  The whole narrative collapses.  Antiquated myths that are not based on fact do not justify the mistreatment of other humans. It is far past time that the law and legislators cease giving deference to religion and the pastor/priestly class.