Azariah Southworth: Why I outed a Christian Star

I have long advocated "outing" Christianist and Republican figures who disseminate an anti-gay message while seeking or engaging in gay sex themselves.  For me, it's all about exposing lies and hypocrisy.  If individuals want to torture themselves and live a lie, that's their personal choice.  But the second they start preaching or voting against LGBT individuals while living a lie, then they have placed a bull's eye on their own backs and deserve whatever they receive.  Yes, it's a harsh approach, but these individuals are damaging lives while being liars and hypocrites.  And for that, they deserve to be exposed for the frauds that they are.  In keeping with this view, I helped Mike Rogers expose former Congressman Ed Schrock from the Virginia 2nd congressional district - who had the second most anti-gay voting record in the House at the time - for the fraud that he was.  Did I feel guilt and remorse at times since I knew Schrock personally?  Most definitely.  But I believed an even bigger evil would be wrought if Schrock was not exposed and he was allowed to continue to damage LGBT lives as he secretly sought out gay sex trysts on the side.  Thus, I identify with Azariah Southworth (pictured above at right) who recently outed evangelical writer Jonathan Merritt (pictured above left), son of the former president of the Southern Baptist Convention.  A piece in Salon by Azariah looks at how and why he felt compelled to out Merritt.  It's worth a read and here are some highlights:

Ever since I outed an up-and-coming evangelical leader named Jonathan Merritt on my blog on July 23, one sentence has been running through my mind: I might have destroyed his life.

It’s not all the angry emails that made me doubt myself – although some have been wildly disapproving. One, from a longtime supporter, said, “Your actions are arrogant, insensitive, and nothing more. There is nothing brave, honorable or noble about what you’ve done. I am parting ways from you ashamed of you and what you have become.” Others called me a self-promoter and a bully. But their criticism is not what bothers me. As RuPaul once said, “What people say about me behind my back is none of my business.”

No, what bothers me, what overwhelms me with guilt, is the concern for what I’ve done to a person I care about. But then I think of how hypocrisy must be exposed. And I think of this: The truth sets you free.

Jonathan and I exchanged a few emails, and a year later, in April 2010, we exchanged phone numbers. One night, we started text messaging one another. At this point, I perceived Jonathan to be a heterosexual male. Male he was, but not heterosexual. Jonathan’s text messages became flirtatious, and I became confused.

By the end of the night my lips were raw and chapped from his unshaven face. I felt a little dirty and used, but more than anything I felt bad for him. I knew the guilt that would ensue for him. I’ve been there. It’s so freeing when you connect with another gay person before you’re “out” but when it’s over, you reenter that world of secrets and lies. You’re surrounded once more by the immense social pressure to look and act a certain way within your faith community. Being gay makes you feel so alone. It makes you feel like you don’t belong, like you’ll never escape the torment and spiritual violence imposed on you by bad and broken theology.

Outing Jonathan was not an easy decision. I mulled it over for more than a year and discussed it with friends. Those conversations always ended in, “Yeah, it’s probably not a good idea.” So, what changed my mind?

I was tired of the lies. I was tired of hearing Jonathan say that being gay is not “God’s best.” Meanwhile he enjoys the company of men. Jonathan’s approach to LGBT people and issues may be less extreme than that of the late Jerry Falwell, but in the end the results and message are the same: Your sexual orientation is a sin and you need to change with God’s help. It’s all lies — and the conversation not only needs to change but the leaders as well.

I’m tired of my humanity as a gay man being invalidated by hypocritical leaders like Jonathan, who then expect my support in return.

But I do feel conflict. I do feel a sense of guilt. And that’s because I do have one regret, which is not discussing it with Jonathan first. That was wrong of me. If I had to do this all over again, I would have contacted him first and then decided how to handle the situation from there based on his reaction. (Merritt has admitted in an interview that “we had physical contact that went beyond the bounds of friendship.”)

Outing a person is complex. There is no blanket formula for how and when and why to do it. I don’t think it’s right in every situation. If someone is in the closet and they’re not making an effort to demonize LGBT people, then I say, leave them alone. But if someone is using a public platform to discuss these issues, and doing that while hiding behind a false identity that ultimately destroys the foundation of the arguments they’re making, then, yes, a full disclosure of that person’s false identity is in order

I recommend reading the rest of the piece.  In the instance of Ed Schrock - who I knew personally from GOP circles back in my days as a Republican - I did contact Schrock and warn him of what would be forthcoming if the hypocrisy continued.  He even called me on his cell phone from the House of Representatives.  His ultimate response?  I was contacted by his top aide and threatened with serious harm (I have contemporaneous e-mails still in my possession) .  The arrogance and abuse of his office certainly made moving forward with Mike Rogers easier.  But it did not totally take away the sadness from what I set in motion.  Ultimately, it came down to harming one lying hypocritical individual versus perhaps making things better for many.  I chose the hope of helping make a difference for many over the hypocritical individual.  I can relate to what Southworth felt he needed to do.