Let Me Tell You a Story

Some have questioned as to why I wrote the post yesterday on this blog and a similar story on The Bilerico Project about Equality Virginia’s promotion of a law firm with what I consider to be a confirmed anti-gay history. One EV board member even chastised me for "tearing others apart" “over personal agenda items” and complained that I refused to remain quiet when I “don’t like the resolution.” The best way to respond to these questions and criticisms is to tell a simple story. It’s a story of what this EV promoted law firm did to me. Here it is:
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It was 2004 and for many months my Norfolk based law firm, Payne, Gates, Farthing & Radd, had been in merger discussions with Virginia Beach based Wolcott Rivers. While the transaction was described as a merger, a takeover of my firm by Wolcott Rivers was a more true explanation of what was happening. The consolidation of the firms was to be effective December 1, 2004.
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I had finally come out at work during 2003 – partly because some of the staff had inadvertently discovered my secret and partly because I could not take the stress of being in the closet at work. For the most part, the firm did not treat it as any big deal. Before events that would later take place in November, 2004, the only time it was an issue was in the spring of 2004 after I had written a letter to the editor opposing the statute then pending in the Virginia General Assembly that was the precursor to the Marshall-Newman anti-gay amendment to Virginia’s Constitution. It seems the folks at Wolcott Rivers did not like my letter and I received a reprimand. But for that, things seemed to progress uneventfully toward the so-called merger.
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Then, on or about November 3, 2004, I was called into a meeting and summarily told that the decision had been made that I was not to be included in the new combined firm. Apparently, the powers that be at Wolcott Rivers thought that having an openly gay attorney in the firm would “offend the sensibilities” of conservative firm clients. In moments I was unemployed in my 50’s. Never mind that I had two children I was still supporting and not insignificant support payments I had to make each month to my former wife. I was devastated and distraught. But only the “sensibilities” of unnamed homophobic clients mattered to the folks at Wolcott Rivers.
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I briefly took the only position I could find with a law firm of much lesser quality which in short order blew apart and I again found myself with no firm and no income. Surviving on IRA withdrawals I started my own firm – no Hampton Roads law firms to date to date have hired any openly gay attorneys, so I had no alternative – and I have struggled to build a practice in a very much down economy. Along the way, I had to file personal bankruptcy and engaged in two suicide attempts because of depression largely brought on by my financial meltdown. My level of income has never recovered and possibly never will. All thanks to the powers that be at Wolcott Rivers.

Yes, in some ways this might be called a “personal agenda” item since my career was largely destroyed to protect the sensibilities of bigots both within and outside of Wolcott Rivers. But looking at the larger picture, I find it unconscionable that EV can in any way hold a firm such as Wolcott Rivers out as a resource to the LGBT community.