As I have noted before, our enemies among the self-anointed Christianist ranks at first appearance have a bizarre obsession with gay sex. Gays are defined solely by how and with whom we have sex. Emotional bonds, common hopes and aspirations - indeed love - are all utterly removed from the equation. Why? Two reasons I suspect. First, by keeping gays a stereotyped one dimensional image, it is so much easier to demonize us and engage in demagoguery in front of unsophisticated and ignorant audiences. It's a very deliberate and calculated approach intended to dehumanize us and stamp out potential sympathy based on our common humanity. The second reason? Because closeted homophobes like Ed Schrock and now Roy Ashburn dwell - or so it seems - on quick sex with no emotional connect because of their own self-loathing. They project their own distorted emotional hang ups onto all of us who have come to terms with how God made us fir whatever reason. A column in the Washington Post looks at the phenomenon. While I do not agree with all of it, it sheds light on this sexual obsession of self-righteous and judgmental "church people." Here are some highlights:*
Whenever I read about the latest public controversy about gays in church, military, or courthouse, I realize that very personal and painful struggles are going on behind the scenes - not just for gay people, but for those who know and love them. I know, because I've been there.
*
Since I come from an Evangelical background, most of my good friends sincerely and passionately hold the strict conservative view on homosexuality with which we all were raised. They can't understand why I don't stand side by side with them on this issue any more.
*
As a pastor, I walked this path. Through the years, a steady stream of church members, their children, and their guests made appointments with me, each of which began with almost the same words: "I've never told anyone this before, but ...." All my life I had been told that homosexuality was simply a sinful choice, a yielding to an especially evil temptation. (Back in the 1980s, this was the standard explanation in my circles.) But not one of the people I met fit that explanation.
*
As contrary evidence mounted, I began to wonder which was the anomaly and which was the norm - what I had been taught by authority figures I loved and respected, or what I was seeing in people I also loved and respected? About then, the authority figures in my tradition modified their position: yes, there was a homosexual orientation that was unchosen. Being gay was no longer simply an evil choice.
*
Over time, I came to a resolution (which I explain in the book) through which I felt I could, in good faith, be true to God, the Bible, and to my gay neighbors, friends, relatives, and colleagues. . . . "the issue" [of gays] will continue to be used to win elections and create voting blocs and headlines. Meanwhile, I will continue to be remember that behind the clamor, private dramas are playing out in agonized prayers and secret tears behind more closed doors than most people imagine. Whatever your position on the issue, I think these personal struggles are worth keeping in mind.
Whenever I read about the latest public controversy about gays in church, military, or courthouse, I realize that very personal and painful struggles are going on behind the scenes - not just for gay people, but for those who know and love them. I know, because I've been there.
*
Since I come from an Evangelical background, most of my good friends sincerely and passionately hold the strict conservative view on homosexuality with which we all were raised. They can't understand why I don't stand side by side with them on this issue any more.
*
As a pastor, I walked this path. Through the years, a steady stream of church members, their children, and their guests made appointments with me, each of which began with almost the same words: "I've never told anyone this before, but ...." All my life I had been told that homosexuality was simply a sinful choice, a yielding to an especially evil temptation. (Back in the 1980s, this was the standard explanation in my circles.) But not one of the people I met fit that explanation.
*
As contrary evidence mounted, I began to wonder which was the anomaly and which was the norm - what I had been taught by authority figures I loved and respected, or what I was seeing in people I also loved and respected? About then, the authority figures in my tradition modified their position: yes, there was a homosexual orientation that was unchosen. Being gay was no longer simply an evil choice.
*
Over time, I came to a resolution (which I explain in the book) through which I felt I could, in good faith, be true to God, the Bible, and to my gay neighbors, friends, relatives, and colleagues. . . . "the issue" [of gays] will continue to be used to win elections and create voting blocs and headlines. Meanwhile, I will continue to be remember that behind the clamor, private dramas are playing out in agonized prayers and secret tears behind more closed doors than most people imagine. Whatever your position on the issue, I think these personal struggles are worth keeping in mind.
*
The reality is that we are just as fully human as our enemies and we have hopes, aspirations and yes, deep love. The very thought of this truth scares the Hell out of our enemies. We need to continue to show ourselves as we are and help kill the deceitful stereotype used to try to define us.
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