Reflections on Marriage Inequality

With all the protests and other stories on the battle for gay marriage of late, Friday evening I had a unique opportunity to see first hand both the inequity in denying gays civil marriage rights as well as how ludicrous and down right dishonest its is on the part of our enemies to depict gay marriage as a threat to heterosexual marriage. The occasion was a memorial service for a gay man who had died far too young and totally unexpectedly, leaving his partner of a number of years totally shell shocked and emotionally devastated. Interestingly enough, among the mourners were the surviving partner's ex-wife and his son, as well as a large number of neighbors from the neighborhood where the couple lived. It was palpable that no one had seen this couple as anything less tan a "married couple."

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The obvious inequity is that this couple, who had been obviously devoted to one another and were considered a "married" couple by their neighbors, here in Virginia had no legal recognition of their relationship. Absolutely none. Hopefully via will and appropriate planning, the surviving partner will have some protections in terms of their home and assets. If not, under the laws of Virginia, the two men are treated as utter strangers. What "social policy" is enhanced or strengthened by such idiocy and inhumane treatment? Obviously, none whatsoever.

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The ridiculous of the "protect marriage" crowd's argument was brightly highlighted by all the heterosexual couples in attendance who took and opportunity to say a few words at the service. Without exception, they made it clear that this gay couple were seen as a huge and much loved asset to their neighborhood and that the deceased man would be greatly missed by neighbors and their family members alike. Again, what end other than bigotry and cruelty is enhanced by the non-recognition of this couple's relationship. Again, obviously none.