One of the big pushes of the Christianist organizations in the USA is to export their anti-gay agenda to Europe where society in general is far more gay accepting. One of the forms of snake oil being used in this effort is to export bogus programs like Focus on the Family's "Love Won Out" and programs put on by Exodus International. Typically, at these events the only "ex-gays" that can be produced by these potentially harmful programs are the salaried "ex-gays for pay" who make their livelihood by deluding themselves and pretending they are now straight. They point to their wives who have bought into the delusion and their children as proof they are "cured." Believe me, being married and having children means absolutely nothing in terms of your true sexual orientation. I've been there and done that and it's a fraud on all concerned.*
In light of the Christianists' effort to export their hate and disinformation abroad, including to the United Kingdom, it is interesting that the London Times did a story on one of the bogus "cure" programs put on by Exodus International. Unlike the typical news coverage, the Times story looks in much more depth at the negatives of the "ex-gay" programs. Would that journalists in the USA had the balls to take on these quacks. Here are some highlights:
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Welcome to ex-gay boot camp. The belief that homosexuality can be overcome has been fuelling controversy in the US for decades. Although research supporting SSA therapy has been discredited, “ex-gay” ministries are expanding worldwide, even in the UK, where a discreet network practises SSA therapy under the umbrella of “Christian counselling”.
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The first full day requires us to pick our classes. I sign up for “Journey Through Lesbianism”, a workshop addressing possible factors contributing to the development of lesbianism. These include, apparently, “unhealthy relationships with family members and peers, abuse, shame and self-hatred”. Loneliness, the media, and being deprived of affection as a baby in a hospital incubator will later be added to the list.
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Some of my classmates are veteran Exodus followers attending the annual conference for a “willpower top-up”, like recovering alcoholics going to AA meetings; others are boot camp virgins. Everyone has paid $600 (£340) for the privilege. . . . Each evening, a roll-call of “former homosexuals” hold up their husbands and wives like kitemarks of their newfound heterosexuality. We are told repeatedly that marriage is evidence of healing. Stereotypes are the ex-gay currency, and the heterosexual ideal is practically ringed by a white picket fence.
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It could be comical were it not for the teenager shaking in the corner, and the man sobbing as he prayed. Excusing herself from a session, Michelle goes to her room and cries. “I don't think I want to willpower right through it,” she confides before going to sleep. “Where's the change in that?” Later I find her surfing the website of the protesters who have been picketing the campus. They are led by Wayne Besen, an ex-gay-camp-attendee-turned-campaigner (an ex-ex-gay, so to speak).
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At one last seminar, “Smooth Transitions: Life after the Conference”, Joe, a Latino man from Miami, speaks proudly of leaving his boyfriend and changing his friends, his address, his job and his gym after leaving his first conference. “It's about doing what's uncomfortable,” he tells the class, describing how he forced himself to watch baseball with macho sportsmen at parties, and to wear looser shorts when walking his chihuahua.
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[T]hey believe that you're born with your religion and choose your sexuality, when that is the opposite of the truth.” One ex-gay leader who has come to the same conclusion is Jeremy Marks. A mild-mannered 56-year-old from Surrey, he pioneered one of the first ex-gay networks in the UK. But after ten years, the attempted suicide of a former resident led him to question the value of SSA therapy. He found that, rather than helping people, it led to depression and dysfunctional behaviour. “They stopped going to church, stopped going to work,” he recalls. “The only ones who appeared to be doing well were those who accepted that they were gay and got on with their lives.”
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Marks is now openly gay and runs Courage, a support group for gay Christians. “Really, what the ex-gay movement is all about is salving the conscience of the Christian leaders who don't like to be accused of homophobia,” he says. “That way they can say ‘we don't hate gays - look how we are welcoming them'.”
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Packing her suitcase, Michelle feels that she has found an answer. “To focus on sex is missing the point,” she says. “It's not about gay or straight. It's about holiness and my relationship with Christ.” She wants to marry but admits that she may never be attracted to men. “Then it means I've been called to singleness.” And lifelong celibacy? “I'm surrendering to God's way.” And she leaves, ready to face a new life in which love and sex are reduced to the sound of elevator music.
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