Father's Day With Two Dads

MSNBC has a nice artilce that will no doubt cause Christianists to foam at the mouth and go into one of their sanctimonious snits. It looks at a gay couple who adopted three brothers who came from a nightmare family situation and who probably would not have been able to have been raised as siblings - assuming they could even be placed for adoption - but for these generous men. Having had a father who was raised in an orphanage, I am well aware of the emotional cost a child/adult bears if not raised in a loving family situation. Yet, the Christianists would prefer that children be left in orphanages or shuffled from foster home to foster home rather than have children raised by gay and lesbian couples. To me, this mindset shows that they value their own prejudice more than what is best for children like the boys featured in the story. I would laso note that of the gay adoptive parents that I know, most have adopted children with mutiple problems who would otherwise never have been adopted and some have spent huge amounts of securing proper medical care for their children. Here are some highlights:

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But Father’s Day will be a double celebration at their house because the brothers have two daddies — Geoffery and Devin, foster parents for the boys for three years before adopting them. “All we’re trying to do is raise three healthy boys to be participants in society,” said Geoffery, Devin’s partner for a decade.

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That’s a modest description for what the county judge who finalized the adoption in December called an act of heroism. The boys, taken from substance-abusing and incarcerated biological parents, faced long odds against growing up together. Given their treatment by the birth parents, there were far more questions than answers about physical and emotional issues that might arise for them down the road. "You are heroes in our community," Judge Mary Yu said, beaming from the bench while the boys frolicked about the courtroom, the whole family decked out in red-and-white Mickey Mouse ski sweaters. “Who’s going to assume the burden of taking care of children like this, children who possibly have been neglected or set aside in some way? … People like you, who step up. Thank you.”

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While the adoption was facilitated by the state and lauded by the legal system in Western Washington, it would have been prohibited by law in some other states simply because Devin and Geoffery are gay.

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The twins have an array of issues related to their early childhood, including diagnoses of post traumatic stress disorder and probable attention deficit disorder. One was recently diagnosed with a fetal alcohol condition and they expect the other will be as well. “We go to therapy a lot,” Devin said.

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While the men prefer to avoid unnecessary conflict with people who reject their lifestyle (they ask doctors, day-care providers and others in advance if they have issues with gay families), they are irritated by the judgment gay parents sometimes face and acknowledge that they try to set a good example that “gay people can do this,” said Devin. “Where do the (foster) children come from?” Geoffery asked. “They come from dysfunctional, broken, heterosexual families. … If you took all of the children away from gay and lesbian parents in the United States today, what would the foster system look like?”

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However, six states — Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Dakota and Utah — maintain some sort of bans on adoption or foster parenting by gays and lesbians. The restrictions are not based on any data or cases about gay parenting. For instance, the Florida law, passed in 1977, was intended to send a message to gay people that "we're really tired of you" and "we wish you'd go back into the closet," its sponsor, state Sen. Curtis Peterson, said at the time.