Sunday Evening Reflections

Our photo that appeared in the Daily Press

This weekend was incredibly busy and once again reflected the almost bi-polar reactions to gays in Virginia and Hampton Roads in particular.   In today's Daily Press (subscription only) the boyfriend and I were one of three same sex couples featured in an article on gay marriage and the rapidly changing legal landscape.  While some of the comments on the online version of the article that began on page 1 of the front section of the paper were enlightened, some were not - one suggested next we'd be demanding incest with our children be legal - and reflect what in my view is the growing separation between the views of the educated and more affluent toward gays and the diametrically opposite views held by the uneducated and lower classes.  It's as if today's lower class whites - much like the lower class whites of 50+ years ago who were openly racist - need someone to look down upon in order to feel good about themselves.  Once it was anti-black discrimination that inflated otherwise pathetic egos, today it's homophobia that has become the route to a sense of superiority for those who otherwise have little or nothing about which to feel superior.  And disturbingly, those who have to cling to their white skin and heterosexuality to feel good about themselves are the core of today's Republican Party of Virginia.

Why do I say this?  Because without exception, the boyfriend and I have found acceptance and friendship with educated and affluent residents of Hampton Roads.  Yesterday we were included in the funeral service for the mother of a friend at historic Bruton Parish in Colonial Williamsburg (amazingly her mother had lived to be over 102 and had been born just 8 days after the Titanic sank).  The ceremony was followed by a family dinner where, as is the norm, we were included as part of the extended family.  Then today, we held a "meet and greet" for two candidates for Hampton City Council at our home and almost everyone (i) had seen the article in the paper and (ii) was overflowing in their congratulations and best wishes for our wedding next week - including an Air Force general and his wife.  The new norm even in Hampton, Virginia is for the educated and middle/upper middle class to accept gays and gay marriage without a moment's hesitation.

One has to wonder if homophobia will increasing be confined to the lower classes and the uneducated.  As noted before on this blog, fundamental religious belief tracks directly with lower levels of education - Episcopalians and Evangelical Lutherans are at the opposite end of the spectrum - with Pentecostals and Jehovah's Witnesses at the very bottom of the heap.  I'd be interested in readers' experiences.