DESTROYING THE MYTHS ABOUT GAY PARENTING

I have written frequently about the lies promoted by the Christofascists and their allies to depict same sex couples as deficient parents.  Never mind the abuse and horrors perpetrated on children by heterosexual parents.  The following is a cross post from my most recent column in the April issue of VEER Magazine (which just celebrated it's 5th anniversary) now on the newsstands across Hampton Roads:

Being gay, one of the things that one has to become accustomed to is all of the often horrid things that opponents of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender) equality say about members of the LGBT community.  The negative stereotypes and slanderous statements that are disseminated virtually daily by various "Christian" family values groups range from depicting gays as promiscuous, alcoholic, drug users to pedophiles who seek to "recruit" children or worse.  The stereotypes and depictions are not true, but over the years I have found that truth and veracity are not attributes of the "Christians" who continue to wage an anti-gay jihad. As a parent myself - I have three children - and knowing many same sex couples with children, one of the most hurtful lies is that same sex couples do not make good parents.  Never mind the fact that every legitimate medical and medical health in America - not to mention numerous international associations - have concluded that same sex couples make equally good parents as heterosexual couples. 

An example of what legitimate experts say about gay parenting can be found in a press release issued by the American Sociological Association in connection with briefs the organization filed in federal court cases challenging same sex marriage bans in Oklahoma and Utah:

"Our latest amicus brief is part of the ASA's ongoing effort to ensure that U.S. courts considering lawsuits to legalize gay marriage understand that social science research shows parents' sexual orientation has no bearing on their children's well-being," said ASA Executive Officer Sally T. Hillsman. "The claim that same-sex parents produce less positive child outcomes than heterosexual parents is simply unsupported."

"As the same-sex marriage debate continues in courtrooms across the country, the ASA will continue to emphasize the clear social science research consensus that children raised by same-sex parents fare just as well as children raised by heterosexual parents," Hillsman said. "In addition, we will continue to correct the record when gay marriage opponents misinterpret or misrepresent social science research to support their position."

Unfortunately, among those who claim to have God on their side, honest analysis of legitimate research findings on same sex parenting is not high on the priority list.  Rather, it seems that these individuals and organizations operate on a "the end justifies the means."  Stated another way, the mindset among anti-gay opponents translates into an approach that equates to "any lie is justifiable if we achieve the goal of our religious based agenda."  Unfortunately, not only are LGBT individuals and same sex couples victims of such propaganda campaigns, but so too are their children who become collateral damage in the quest by the "righteous" to impose their religious beliefs on all citizens.

This utilization of deliberate lies and untruths about parenting is not confined to the battle over gay marriage.  One need look no farther than last's year controversy over adoption and foster care services here in Virginia where the "godly folk" used this untrue message to (i) allow private agencies to discriminate based on one's sexual orientation (as well as religion), and (ii) block second parent adoptions by same sex couples where either the non-biological parent of a child sought to adopt their partner's children and/or same sex couples sought to adopt children.  Sadly, the lies worked and Virginia remains a state where a single gay parent can adopt as can married heterosexual couples.  Married/partnered same sex couples cannot.  The result? Less stability for children and many children who might otherwise have been adopted remain trapped in foster homes where they are often shuffled from foster home to foster home.   Most harshly impacted are hard to place children with special needs who otherwise might well be adopted by same sex couples.  The "godly folk" claim to be "concerned about the children" but their actions have a profound direct opposite effect.

As intimated above, however, nowhere of late has the myth that same sex couples make bad parents been used more by the far right and Republican governors and attorneys general than in the recent deluge of federal lawsuits challenging state bans on same sex marriage.  Some 55 lawsuits are currently pending across the country.   The most egregious of these efforts have been focused on the use a widely condemned and discredited "study" prepared by Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas at Austin.

Before looking at the seemingly deliberate untruths in this "study" findings, it is important to look at the source of the funding for the study itself.  Mark Regnerus, received a $695,000 grant from the Witherspoon Institute for the study.   The Witherspoon Foundation is affiliated with Robert George who is a senior fellow at the Witherspoon Foundation.  Perhaps more significantly, Mr. George is also a founder and chairman emeritus of the National Organization for Marriage ("NOM"), an organization whose stated goal is to stop marriage equality.  Since the Regnerus study was published under suspect circumstances, NOM and the Witherspoon Institute have been pushing it steadily in their efforts to convince courts and politicians that same sex couples make unfit parents.

Even more damning is the appearance that the Regnerus study money could have been political money, laundered for NOM through the Witherspoon Foundation - with the money perhaps laundered coming from as-yet-unidentified donors -and that the Regnerus study was schemed up above all for NOM and Republican Party uses as a political weapon in the 2012 elections and in court cases challenging same sex marriage bans.

So what is so wrong with the Regnerus study?  As it turns out, plenty.  First, the term “same-sex households” as used in the study is misleading. The study effectively compared families with two always-married heterosexual parents to some families who only had one parent but were characterized as households headed by gay fathers or lesbian mothers.  In fact, out of the supposed fifteen thousand children within the study, only two of the children in the study had in fact been raised in a two parent same sex household while growing up.  Perhaps not surprisingly given the deceptive design and nature of the study, in an email dated Dec. 2, 2010, some two years before the study's release, Regnerus revealed to a confidant that the Witherspoon Institute had already anticipated what the results would be: that previous studies showing favorable outcomes for children raised by same-sex parents were wrong.  

The outcry against the Regnerus study was quick and furious.  200 Ph.D.s and M.D.s and professionals in sociology, psychiatry and other relevant fields have sent a letter to James Wright, editor of “Social Science Research,” the journal where Regnerus’s study was published. Here's a sampling from the letter:

As researchers and scholars, many of whom with extensive experience in quantitative and qualitative research in family structures and child outcomes, we write to raise serious concerns about the most recent issue of Social Science Research and the set of papers focused on parenting by lesbians and gay men. In this regard, we have particular concern about Mark Regnerus’ paper . . . . . We question the process by which this paper was submitted, reviewed, and accepted for publication.

The condemnation of Regnerus' study perhaps reached a high point in the case of DEBOER v. SNYDER in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District Of Michigan Southern Division which successfully challenged Michigan's same sex marriage ban, in which Mark Regnerus was used as a witness by the defenders of the ban.  On the day the trial began, the chair of the University of Texas Department of Sociology - i.e., Regnerus' employer issued this press release:

Like all faculty, Dr. Regnerus has the right to pursue his areas of research and express his point of view.  However, Dr. Regnerus’ opinions are his own. They do not reflect the views of the Sociology Department of The University of Texas at Austin.  Nor do they reflect the views of the American Sociological Association, which takes the position that the conclusions he draws from his study of gay parenting are fundamentally flawed on conceptual and methodological grounds and that findings from Dr. Regnerus’ work have been cited inappropriately in efforts to diminish the civil rights and legitimacy of LBGTQ partners and their families.  We encourage society as a whole to evaluate his claims.

Ouch!  But even worse are the holdings of Judge Friedman - a Republican judicial appointee - in his opinion which are nothing less than brutal.  Here is a sampling:

" . . . . of the only two participants who reported living with their mother and her same-sex partner for their entire childhood, Regnerus found each of them to be “comparatively well adjusted on most developmental and contemporary outcomes.” Id. at 11. Nonetheless, Regnerus testified that there is no conclusive evidence that “growing up in households wherein parents are in (or have been in) same-sex relationships” does not adversely affect child outcomes.

The Court finds Regnerus’s testimony entirely unbelievable and not worthy of serious consideration. The evidence adduced at trial demonstrated that his 2012 “study” was hastily concocted at the behest of a third-party funder, which found it “essential that the necessary data be gathered to settle the question in the forum of public debate about what kinds of family arrangement are best for society” and which “was confident that the traditional understanding of marriage will be vindicated by this study.

The take away conclusion?  That claims that gays do not make good parents disseminated by the far right and "family values" groups are untrue and could not be confirmed by an honest study.  The real truth is this:

Every major professional organization in this country whose focus is the health and well-being of children and families has reviewed the data on outcomes for children raised by lesbian and gay couples, including the methods by which the data were collected, and have concluded that these children are not disadvantaged compared to children raised in heterosexual parent households. Organizations expressing support for parenting, adoption, and/or fostering by lesbian and gay couples include (but are not limited to): American Medical Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychiatric Association, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, American Psychoanalytic Association, American Psychological Association, Child Welfare League of America, National Association of Social Workers, and the Donaldson Adoption Institute.

In fact, the 2004 Council of Representatives of the American Psychological Association (“APA”) unanimously voted in favor of issuing a position statement that “research has shown that the adjustment, development, and psychological well-being of children is unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish.”

The next time you hear someone claiming that gays do not make good parents or that "every child deserves a mother and father" you need to realize that the party making the statement is either ignorant, parroting Christian Right talking points or, like Victoria Cobb at The Family Foundation and far too many in the Republican Party, a deliberate liar.