America's Changing Families - The Christofascists Rejection of Reality

One of the myths that Christofascists - the folks at The Family Foundation in Richmond are a case in point - constantly disseminate is that of the Norman Rockwell nuclear family which is held out as the norm but for the threat of gay marriage.  The reality, however, is that such families are increasingly NOT the norm and in the past many continued to exist simply because people stayed in bad marriages that were often toxic for all concerned.  To the Christofascists, it's better that everyone remain in unhappy sham heterosexual marriages than face the truth that their little ideological world is largely a fantasy in their own minds.  Their rigid agenda insults the lives and loves of more and more Americans.  A piece in the New York Times looks at the changing face of America's families.  Here are highlights:

Kristi and Michael Burns have a lot in common.  . . . . their blended family is a sprawling, sometimes uneasy ensemble of two sharp-eyed sons from her two previous husbands, a daughter and son from his second marriage, ex-spouses of varying degrees of involvement, the partners of ex-spouses, the bemused in-laws and a kitten named Agnes that likes to sleep on computer keyboards.

If the Burnses seem atypical as an American nuclear family, how about the Schulte-Waysers, a merry band of two married dads, six kids and two dogs? Or the Indrakrishnans, a successful immigrant couple in Atlanta whose teenage daughter divides her time between prosaic homework and the precision footwork of ancient Hindu dance; the Glusacs of Los Angeles, with their two nearly grown children and their litany of middle-class challenges that seem like minor sagas; Ana Perez and Julian Hill of Harlem, unmarried and just getting by, but with Warren Buffett-size dreams for their three young children; and the alarming number families with incarcerated parents, a sorry byproduct of America’s status as the world’s leading jailer. 

Researchers who study the structure and evolution of the American family express unsullied astonishment at how rapidly the family has changed in recent years, the transformations often exceeding or capsizing those same experts’ predictions of just a few journal articles ago. 

Yet for all the restless shape-shifting of the American family, researchers who comb through census, survey and historical data and conduct field studies of ordinary home life have identified a number of key emerging themes. 

Families, they say, are becoming more socially egalitarian over all, even as economic disparities widen. Families are more ethnically, racially, religiously and stylistically diverse than half a generation ago — than even half a year ago. 

Good friends join forces as part of the “voluntary kin” movement, sharing medical directives, wills, even adopting one another legally. 

Single people live alone and proudly consider themselves families of one — more generous and civic-minded than so-called “greedy marrieds.”

[T]he old-fashioned family plan of stably married parents residing with their children remains a source of considerable power in America — but one that is increasingly seen as out of reach to all but the educated elite. 

“We’re seeing a class divide not only between the haves and the have-nots, but between the I do’s and the I do nots,” Dr. Coontz said. Those who are enjoying the perks of a good marriage “wouldn’t stand for any other kind,” she said, while those who would benefit most from marital stability “are the ones least likely to have the resources to sustain it.”

The nation’s birthrate today is half what it was in 1960, and last year hit its lowest point ever. At the end of the baby boom, in 1964, 36 percent of all Americans were under 18 years old; last year, children accounted for just 23.5 percent of the population, and the proportion is dropping, to a projected 21 percent by 2050.

One big reason is the soaring cost of ushering offspring to functional independence. According to the Department of Agriculture, the average middle-class couple will spend $241,080 to raise a child to age 18. Factor in four years of college and maybe graduate school, or a parentally subsidized internship with the local theater company, and say hello to your million-dollar bundle of oh joy. 

Also démodé is the old debate over whether mothers of dependent children should work outside the home. The facts have voted, the issue is settled, and Paycheck Mommy is now a central organizing principle of the modern American family.  

There are many more insights.  The take away message, however, is that if Republicans and the Christofascists are truly worried about "protecting marriage," they need to support policies that address the stresses now faced by families.  Gays marrying have NOTHING to do with these forces.  The fact that they refuse to face reality and adopt and supported supportive programs speaks volumes about their dishonesty and hypocrisy.