What Does the Bible Really Say About Marriage and are Gay Catholics Masochists?

I do not hide the fact that I hold the Roman Catholic Church hierarchy in total contempt. Its members for the most part are deliberate liars, hypocrites and accessories to sex crimes against children. There is really no way to sugar coat the truth. Nonetheless, millions of Catholics - some are relatives of mine - continue to financially support these horrible men and send a strong signal that they have no reason to clean out the cesspool like Church power structure. As long as the sheeple mindlessly send in the money, NOTHING will change and these financial supporters of the Church become quasi-accessories themselves. Meanwhile Church spokesman like Timothy "Porky Pig" Dolan, Archbishop of New York, continue to send out a ceaseless stream of denigrating statements about gays and lies about what the Bible says about marriage. Yet many gays remain in the Church in what I can only see is an example of a sick form of masochism. Why remain in an institution where the leadership truly hates you and wants you regarded as less than fully human? A piece in Huffington Post by Greg Carey, a professor at Lancaster Theological Seminary, looks at what the Bible really says about marriage - and it's not what Dolan and the Christianists say it is. Here are some highlights:
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When you attend a wedding at church, what passages of Scripture do you expect to hear? . . . . Someone invariably mentions 1 Corinthians 13, the famous "Love Chapter." Love is patient, love is kind, love never insists on its own way and so forth. Wonderful advice for marriage, but Paul was not talking about marriage. He was addressing a church fight: the believers in Corinth had split into factions and were competing for prestige and influence.
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Others call out, "Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God" (Ruth 1:16; NRSV). Another moving passage, but it's certainly not about marriage. Ruth addresses this moving speech to her mother-in-law Naomi.
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The point is, Christian weddings rarely feature passages that directly relate to marriage. Only one passage, Genesis 2:24, seems especially relevant, while other passages require us to bend their content to our desire to hear a good word about marriage. Things are so bad that the worship books for many denominations turn to John 2:11, where Jesus turns water into wine at a wedding feast, to claim that Jesus blessed marriage.
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So we know Jesus blessed marriage because he attended a wedding? That's the best we can do? No wonder it's common for couples to struggle over the choice of Scripture for their wedding ceremonies. The Bible just doesn't have much to say on the topic.
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Unfortunately, many Christians use the Bible to support their own prejudices and bigotry. They talk about "biblical family values" as if the Bible had a clear message on marriage and sexuality. Let's be clear: There's no such thing as "biblical family values" because the Bible does not speak to the topic clearly and consistently.
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It's high time people came clean about how we use the Bible. When Christians try to resolve difficult ethical and theological matters, they typically appeal to the Gospels and Paul's letters as keys to the question. But what about marriage? Not only did Jesus choose not to marry, he encouraged his disciples to abandon household and domestic concerns in order to follow him (Matthew 19:29; Mark 10:28-30; Luke 9:57-62). He even refers to those "who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:10-13).
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Paul likewise encourages male believers: "Do not seek a wife" (1 Corinthians 7:27, my translation) -- advice Paul took for himself. If neither Jesus nor Paul preferred marriage for their followers, why do some Christians maintain that the Bible enshrines 19th-century Victorian family values?
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Let's not even go into some of the Bible's most chilling teachings regarding marriage, such as how a man's obligation to keep a new wife who displeases him on the wedding night (Deuteronomy 22:13-21), his obligation to marry a woman he has raped (Deuteronomy 22:28-30) or the unquestioned right of heroes like Abraham to exploit their slaves sexually. I wonder: Have the "biblical family values advocates" actually read their Bibles?
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Again, it's far past time that distorted versions of Christianity cease being enshrined in the civil laws and given special rights and privileges. As for gay Catholics who remain in the Church, another piece in Huffington Post tries to make the case for remaining in the Church. While the article is sincere and I can feel for its author, I think he deludes himself if he believes that change will come to the Church absent mass departures of members and more importantly, absent a huge drop in financial support. Money is the Vatican's only true god. Here are brief highlights:
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So what does this mean for gay Catholics? It means that we should choose to stay while embracing Christ's guidance -- ask questions, seek answers and never stop knocking -- because one day the door will be opened. Perhaps we should start asking these questions and seeking answers with regards to the application of Church teaching on the issue of homosexuality.
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So where does all of this leave LGBT Catholics? In the pews. The realities call all LGBT Catholics to live our lives as examples of Christian love. By living our lives prophetically, we can continue to help others evolve in their understanding of our community. As people who believe in the all welcoming and loving message of Christ, we must remind ourselves and others that LGBT Catholics and their allies, in the words of Bishop Sullivan, "are not rebels in their churches, but people who have taken spiritual messages of inclusiveness and welcoming to heart."
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By staying in the Church and living our lives, we are expressing our belief in the inclusive message of Christ; we are choosing to ask, seek and knock with the hope that one day "the door will be opened" (Luke 11:10).