As regular readers know, I'm usually motivated to continue to fight for equality under the civil laws for LGBT Americans and others who continue to receive the short end of the stick under our less than genuine nation where the rule of law and freedom of religion are alleged to hold sway. Nonetheless, at times I truly feel that the USA is so screwed up and religious based bigotry so enshrined in the laws that it might be easier to simply get the Hell out of the USA. As more nations are voting in or having their courts mandate full equality for LGBT citizens, remaining in the USA when one is a gay American is (I know it's an extreme comparison) akin to being black and remaining in the Deep South under the Jim Crow laws rather than moving to a northern state where such laws were not on the books. Dealing with social discrimination is one thing. Being discriminated against daily by the very civil laws themselves is something far worse. *
Obviously, I and many other LGBT Americans had hoped for real change under the Obama administration - especially when combined with Democrat control of Congress. Sadly, what we got was, in my view, a spineless, lying, cynical President - yes, I know, I should have expected it - who is utterly unwilling to exercise leadership on basically any issue whatsoever. As for most Congressional Democrats, they are about as untrustworthy of "allies" as one could want to come across. On top of that, we see the main stream media - with few exceptions - never, ever taking on the talking heads of the Christian Right who could be easily shown to be lying, religious extremist, if not outright frauds. Why isn't the mainstream media going after the twice divorced Linda Lindle as a hypocrite?
*So what does one do? Stay and continue to fight the good fight like Don Quixote, or call it like it is and get the Hell out of a sick and fraudulent nation? Short term while our parents are living, the boyfriend and I will stay. After that, I really see no reason to stay in the USA. It's a sad commentary, but as I see it it is the truth. The USA seems to be on a downward spiral where religious lunacy and ignorance are insurgent and the founding principles of the country merely get lip service. The loons of the far right claim the USA is failing because of societal immorality and draw analogies to Ancient Rome. They are wrong, of course. Rome fell because it had remained militarily over extended for many, many years - sound familiar? - and exhausted itself financially. Likewise, the point came where the benefits of living under the system no longer made loyalty to Rome and its laws worth the cost and the effort. I feel that I have reached this latter point in terms of the USA.
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Is it wrong to be hopeful? Is it meaningless to believe that, when all is said and done, what is right will win?
There are a lot of terrible people. Terrible people, who will stop at nothing to validate themselves through the suffering of others. People who hate. People who lie and slander. People with prejudices and bigotry. But for every one of them, how many stand on the other side? How many live trying to do what's right in their own hearts? They might make mistakes, they might be afraid and be taken in by those who honestly wish to hurt others, but it's not out of malice they stumble, but confusion.
Sometimes I hear those on the left and the right argue about each other, using labels and stereotyping to try and create an "us against them" mentality on both sides. They do it cause it works. Because fear is useful, identity politics makes money, people are easy when they're afraid. But it's not true. We are more than labels. We are human beings. And human beings have an intense capacity for change and love and compassion and goodness. And given time they will change.
You can look at the big picture, you can see the pain Prop 8 caused, the injustice of DADT, and the resentment from every person ever discriminated against because of their sexuality and feel that they've won. You can think that the terrible people have succeeded--in many ways they have. But someday they won't-- and in many ways they've already lost. No legislation can change the way a person thinks. No proposition can touch a single thought or emotion. But when a single person is shown the truth, there is no going back.
That is the battle we can win, we have the truth. We know we are right.
I can look at the small picture. The human element.
I saw a young gay couple at a church last Sunday. It wasn't a particularly "gay friendly" denomination. But the Reverend introduced them to me as "David and his husband Philip and their kids..." That's the future.
Nearly every person at that church knows them, and loves them as their brothers. That's the label they use. And that's the label they should use. And when we all become someones brother, son, father, we won't be something to fear or that can be used. We'll just be people.
Don't give up on us yet. Don't underestimate the influence we have over those around us. If you can change a mind you can change a country. Truth wins out. That's the biggest picture.
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