Several close blogger friends have recommended this article about gay relationships (http://gaytwogether.typepad.com/gaytwogether/2008/01/gay-relations-7.html) that touched on issues that are very relevant and important. I felt certain portions of the article were worth repeating. The reality is that sometimes as hard as it may seem, being alone is better than being in an abusive relationship. Here are some highlights:
So often in a new relationship we learn the dynamic of the new relationship. This includes how you react together as a couple, with each other, and in group settings. Backgrounds are very different and as our techniques in dealing and interacting with other people. One thing you need to be on the look out for is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse always takes place before physical abuse does. Knowing what the signs of verbal abuse are as well as being able to stop that treatment early on is key in a relationship.
Tell your partner that behavior like that is unacceptable, and you will walk away, or leave when they choose to act like that. If your partner does not respond and change in a positive way, you need to keep in mind that if you are just dating, that future treatment can be worse. Verbal abuse can and does often get worse. Verbal abuse is always a precursor to physical abuse.
The key is recognizing when verbal abuse happens, talking honestly with your partner about the actions that have occurred, and then noting the changes. You may have to cease contact with the partner by walking away, not seeing your partner for awhile to help get your point across. If the behavior does not change, it is time for serious reflection regarding that relationship. You deserve a relationship free of verbal abuse, and it is up to you to recognize it, and see that it stops, either by helping to change that behavior or leaving the relationship.
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