Another "Ex-Gay" Leader Admits the He's Still Gay

There's been much deserved blow back against TLC for airing its "reality show "My Husband's Not Gay" because it seeks to perpetuate the myth that somehow gays can "pray away" the gay.  It simply doesn't happen - I tried for 37 years and know that it's a lie.  If one needs further proof, Randy Thomas, formerly vice president of the now defunct Exodus International, once the largest "ex-gay" ministry has admitted that he's gay and  always has been.  Sadly, it would be foolish to expect Thomas' admission to do anything to stop the efforts of Christofascist to continue to peddle the myth that gays can change - there's too much money to be made and the myth is necessary for duping simpleton GOP elected officials.  Here are excerpts from Thomas' blog post finally admitting the truth and reality:

I have read many stories of people who have “come out again” or accepted they are gay after some time in the ex-gay world. Many of their stories are compelling and well-written. But, sometimes I wish they would get to the point right off the bat. Just say it and then tell the story. So that is what I am going to do: I am gay.

What Led To This Post?  The past six or so years have presented an opportunity to question my beliefs and evaluate my experiences without an idealized agenda. Then in 2011, as a result of all the turmoil that erupted at Exodus International (my former employer from 2002 to 2013), I began to dig deep and ask hard questions. Who am I? What do I make of my journey to date? How does God view me, my state of being? I questioned/pondered/re-examined all this and more again. Then in January of 2013, a man named Michael, someone I dated for a little while 24 years ago committed suicide. We remained good friends up until his death. His death was shocking and I still mourn his passing. Michael had several difficult issues contributing to his suicide, and I know he also struggled with his faith and sexuality. His death shook me to my core and made all the questions I had been asking were even more stark, consequential, and pressing. After being laid off from Exodus International (as a part of closing it down) in August of 2013, I began to have the personal space to think things through without distraction or filters.

Some snapshots of my history, at the age of 10 I was “out” to myself, I came out to friends at 16 and out to everyone as a gay man at 19. At 19, I paid a heavy price for coming out. I was as liberal a Democrat as one could be too. Then I became a Christian and moved toward being an ex-gay poster boy (the last Executive Vice President of Exodus International). At one point I was featured in a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times and featured in a book by Watergate figure Charles Colson called The Good Life.

Whether anyone cares, pays attention, approves, disapproves, friends or unfriends me isn’t the point. The point is that I need to stay true to how I am wired, be honest, and consistent with what I believe to be true in this regard. Writing this post is something I need to do as a part of taking personal responsibility for my past journey and being honest in my present reality.

Even though I have issued two apologies to the gay community (here and here) and found my first sense of identity and community as a gay youth/young man, I am not sure many will accept my apologies or this disclosure. I would definitely understand some people’s reluctance given my history. That said, while I care about what others think, I am doing this because I feel it is the right thing to do.

I am gay. I am ok with who I am. I hope we can continue to journey together.

Kudos to Thomas for at last being honest with himself and the world.  I do have to worry, however, about all those who were harmed by the lies disseminated by Exodus International before its closure.