Thursday, June 17, 2010

Marriage Opponents Denigrate Gay Lives

There has been much chatter across the blogosphere in terms of the closing arguments in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. Like many in the LGBT community, I find the statements of the Proposition 8 proponents down right hateful and in the final analysis their argument is that the lives and loves of LGBT citizens don't matter. Worse yet, they describe our lives and loves as something nasty and hurtful to society. The boyfriend and I have yet to take advantage of the new same sex marriage laws in the District of Columbia, but certainly may do so in the near future. To hear Prop. 8 counsel Charles Cooper describe same sex relationships as a threat to society itself enrages me. Who are these self-righteous, false Christians to condemn the lives of other humans? I am not the only one who takes these hate filled slights personally. Two amazing blogger friends who have legally married their partners - one in California and the other in Connecticut - each have touching posts wherein they express their personal outrage at the denigration and marginalization of their lives by Proposition 8 proponents like Maggie Gallagher who have enriched themselves financially while disseminating anti-gay hate and bigotry. I felt portions of their posts need to be re-quoted and promoted because they underscore the inherent evil of the efforts of the anti-marriage equality forces.
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The first is Jeremy Hooper of Good As You (pictured with his partner Andrew above left) who married his partner last summer and in fact had photos of their wedding featured in Martha Stewart's wedding magazine issue earlier this year. Here's a portion of what Jeremy has to say about the Bible beating bigots who try to fraudulently depict themselves as the victims of gays oppression:
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[W]hen . . . Christian-allied firms like the Alliance Defense Fund use arguments involving procreation, morality, Judeo-Christian marriage roots, or the supposed ability of gays to "change" (all of which were used), our side ABSOLUTELY has the right (responsibility?) to shoot these lines downs! Because the truth is that NO GAY ACTIVIST -- NO. GAY. ACTIVIST! -- is trying to force Christians to accept same-sex marriage, working to force faith leaders to marry same-sex couples, or in any way demand that churches honor gay unions. Those decisions are up to individual faith denominations, and that kind of advocacy, if it's to happen at all, must happen from within the individual churches. The only matter we care about in this Prop 8 case is *CIVIL* law and gay citizens' right to love under it. THAT is what the Prop 8 crowd put on trial back in November of 2008. We're now demanding that they answer for it!! Unapologetically so.
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The other individual to speak out from a personal perspective is Waymon Hudson, a fellow Bilerico contributor pictured with his husband Anthony at below right). Their marriage is one of the 18,000 marriages that occurred before the passage of Proposition 8 which the professional Christian crowd have now asked be voided by Judge Walker. Here are highlights from Waymon's thoughts:
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My husband and I married in California before Prop 8 passed and are among the Limited Edition Married Gays that exist in a separate and not equal space when it comes to relationship recognition. Now the same people that have claimed time and again that we are somehow weakening their marriages by simply being together are actively seeking to strip us of any rights or recognition our marriage provides us. Follow the twisted logic? Me either.
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To have these groups literally seek to break up marriages because of their own personal bias is disgusting. They will not be satisfied until they can come into our home, take our marriage certificate of the wall, and rip it in half. Yet somehow they continue to wear (with the help of a increasingly lazy media) the mantle of "family value" voters and proponents.
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How can taking away my family's rights and recognition be a "family value"? How can telling children of same-sex couples that their parents are less-than and abhorrent in their anti-equality campaigns be protecting families? Why do they still get to claim any sort of family values at all?

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The Prop 8 backers and those like them have never been able to provide any proof of harm to their marriages or the institution of marriage by allowing same-sex couple to join in. Their arguments boil down to personal distaste or outright bigotry- hardly sound legal reasons.
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The dishonesty of their stance needs to be challenged by everyone around them. They need to be forced to answer how they claim the are for "saving" marriage while trying to destroy legal, existing marriages like mine. They need to answer how they are "pro-family" while demonizing our families and children. They need to be pushed and pushed until the world sees them for what they are: small-minded people with deep prejudice, not some crusading do-gooders who "just have political differences" with equality for all.
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I'm gay. I'm married. I'm pro-family. I have family values. They don't get to own these terms. They belong to all of us. And I won't cede them to the likes of these people any more.
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I agree with Jeremy and Waymon completely and, candidly, I find it difficult not to view that anti-gay lobby as a bunch of evil bigots worthy of my hatred. I know that that's not a Christian reaction. But then their conduct is anything but Christian. They - or at least their self-dealing leaders like Maggie Gallagher - ARE evil people.

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