The main stream media has finally done as story on the Lawrence King murder. Sadly, the article in Time Magazine (http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1714214,00.html) is in my view less than sympathetic to the abuse suffered by gays on a regular basis and the article’s author, John Cloud, seems to be living in a delusional Never Never Land. The entire tone and outlook of the article is that anti-gay abuse and bullying is not the norm and that Lawrence King’s experience was some incredibly rare aberration. Would that the world that Mr. Cloud thinks exists in his mind existed in reality. It surely does not exist in most areas of the USA – certainly not in most of the South. I was sufficiently disturbed that I wrote the following letter to the editor of Time, which no doubt will ever see the light of day:
I was shocked by some of John Cloud’s conclusions, particularly the statement that “the [National Gay and Lesbian] Task Force is exaggerating the frequency of assaults on gay kids, the vast majority of whom make it through school safe and happy.”
As an older gay male, let me assure Mr. Cloud that surviving high school as a gay student even when one is in the closet is not easy and the psychological scars last for decades if not for life. The higher incidence of suicide, psychological problems, drug and/or alcohol abuse among many LGBT students is one of the direct consequences. If blacks, Jews, and other minority groups had to put up with what LGBT students experience on a regular basis, there would be wide scale outrage something would be done and quickly. Anti-gay abuse seems to be one of the last remaining forms of prejudice and discrimination that gets a wink and a nod, but no real remedial action.
I was shocked by some of John Cloud’s conclusions, particularly the statement that “the [National Gay and Lesbian] Task Force is exaggerating the frequency of assaults on gay kids, the vast majority of whom make it through school safe and happy.”
As an older gay male, let me assure Mr. Cloud that surviving high school as a gay student even when one is in the closet is not easy and the psychological scars last for decades if not for life. The higher incidence of suicide, psychological problems, drug and/or alcohol abuse among many LGBT students is one of the direct consequences. If blacks, Jews, and other minority groups had to put up with what LGBT students experience on a regular basis, there would be wide scale outrage something would be done and quickly. Anti-gay abuse seems to be one of the last remaining forms of prejudice and discrimination that gets a wink and a nod, but no real remedial action.
Perhaps my statements are on the strong side, but for the record I STILL recall from time to time being beat up a few times and harrassed more often for being a"faggot" during my junior-senior high school days even though I never concede that I was gay.
1 comment:
Michael, your comments are quite tame, to say the least. I have been in the educational field for many years and I will tell you that bullying and terrorizing is more a part of the daily school routine than academics are. I can only imagine what young people who (as they all are) are just beginning to understand themselves physically and emotionally as well as intellectually endure as the brunt of the verbal abuse. Most of this comes from the television media and sitcoms. It seems that the message is that this is quite normal and that all kids do this. The truth is that it isn't normal. It shouldn't be normal and we, as a society, shouldn't allow it. I can't begin to tell you how often educators and parents victimize the victims themselves by rationalizing the bully's behavior with comments such as "s/he is overly sensitive" or "well, he's such a sissy" or "she should act more like a girl". The whole thing has roots back to the parents and the evil-hearted prejudices they pass along to their children. The fact is that every child has the potential to be mean and cruel. There is a choice involved and that means there must be a basic foundation that each child must have in order to understand that we are all truly created equal -- equal, but uniquely different, with different likes and dislikes, with different attractions and feelings. No, you are too mild, in my opinion. And, I can only imagine that those in position to truly do something positive about it struggle with how to handle it. Too many times, however, the bully and his advocates persist until the victim lashes out. And, then the administration deals with the physical actions of the tormented student. Or worse yet, they hand their heads in shame and wonder why it had to end in tragedy. This is all too common. I don't advocate for books that talk about two mommies or two daddies. The fact is that it takes one man and one woman to produce a child. There are caring families that have only one parent present or might even be lucky enough to have a parent who has a partner to share the joy (and the hardships) of rearing a child. The fact is that hate is the first thing parents teach their children. It is an ugly fact, but true. The comedians make a living poking fun at those who are different, regardless of how they might be different. Honestly, I don't know if anyone truly knows everything about his or her self in high school or even college. It is a learning stage in life, as well it should be. Our children should be able to learn about themselves in an environment that is nurturing, encouraging, and understanding, not in a place that brings on anxiety where they feel uncomfortable, picked on, belittled and poked fun of. It is awful, Man's Inhumanity to Man. When will we ever stop the vicious cycle? Not until everyone is taught to love first and embrace the wonderful unique qualities we each bring to the table. Really, I think you should kick your letter up a notch and send it again.
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