Thoughts on Life, Love, Politics, Hypocrisy and Coming Out in Mid-Life
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Coming Out: Being Able to Say "I Am Who I Was Born To Be"
Many readers have been followers of this blog from the early days toward mid-2007 when it began in earnest and I was still struggling to come to terms with being gay, the end of my marriage, a horrible divorce, being forced from a law firm for being gay, and rebuilding my entire social world. There was plenty of deep depression along the way and two serious suicide attempts for good measure. But now, a full ten years after I moved out and began my journey to self acceptance, I feel that I have reached a place where lines from a song I sometimes listen to on the commute to work have special meaning:
Though I may not
know the answers, I can finally say
I am free.And if the
questions led me here, then I am
who I was born to be. I am who I
was born to be.
Obviously, the Christofascists and professional Christian set would greatly dispute this reality. Truth be told, it is they, not us in the LGBT community who have serious problems.
For those damaged by religious and societal bigotry who are still in the coming out process, I have two messages based on my own experience. First, it does get better. Moreover, I truly believe that God, the creator, nature or whatever power one may want to cite made some of us LGBT. As in the song lyrics, we may never know the answer as to why, but we are who we were born to be when live out and proud. No one among us can allow our enemies - and yes, they are enemies, in my view - to ever take this truth away from us.
And my second message for those still struggling to achieve self-acceptance is to get involved in the LGBT community. It is what saved me. And it can lead to good things. Tonight, Hampton Roads Business OutReach ("HRBOR")- a gay and gay friendly chamber of commerce that I helped found - is holding a gala networking event that could well have 200 people in attendance, including the mayor and most of city council for a local cities and prominent members of the business community, both LGBT and straight. Involvement brought me friends and colleagues and ultimately the boyfriend who I first seriously got to know through HRBOR.
Get involved and make a difference while making your own life more fulfilling.