Today would have been my father's 91st birthday. He died in September, 2006, on of all possible dates my son's birthday. Needless to say, it's been a bitter sweet day for me with thoughts of my father lingering at the back of my mind. As long time readers know, my relationship with my dad was not always that good. In part because of his difficult childhood and youth since he was orphaned at the age of 3 years old. Then there was the glass wall I erected between myself and virtually everyone as I struggled to try to deny to myself that I was gay and I feared letting anyone too close to me because of my fear that they'd discover "my secret" even though I had not even conceded to myself that I was gay. Over my 37 years in the closet I missed so many opportunities to be close to others because of my fear of rejection.
When I did finally come out I was blessed to have parents who accepted me totally and never flinched at standing by me. So many gays have not been as lucky and have faced rejection by parents and family. That's why in honor of my parents I funded the initial endowment for the Hamar/HRBOR Scholarship ( a four year scholarship) for graduating high school seniors who face financial need either because of family rejection or through financial limitations. My contribution allows for a grant every four years, but to offer the scholarship, HRBOR needs to raise another $75,000.00 - hence the contribution link on this blog. I hope readers will consider making a tax deductible gift.
The photo of my dad above is from the World War II years when he served in the Army Corps of Engineers. He was likely somewhere between 19 and 23 when the portrait was done. He served most of the war in France having crossed the English Channel the day after D-Day. His last post was as Fire Marshall of Marseilles before mustering out and returning to Syracuse University where he met my mother.
It's been nearly six years but I still miss him. I miss our talks and his pragmatic way of looking at things. I still remember when he first met my former partner and summed the situation this way: "I've gained another son." They went on to bond well together. One of the last times I saw him as we were getting ready to head back to Norfolk he said "you will always be my little boy." Yes, I'm crying as I type this post. I hope he knows what a wonderful gift he gave me when he accepted me just as I was. I miss him everyday.
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