I think people at times do not understand how blogging can become a significant part of one's life. In my own case, my readers and their comments and supportive communications to me are often a lifeline for me when I am feeling overwhelmed or even to the point of giving up on my journey/life. While I receive wonderful messages such as the one below that say that I have given strength to others, the reality is that my readers are the often the ones who have given me the strength to carry on. Here's a portion of a recent message that I just referenced from someone thousands of miles away whom I have never met in person:
Michael, thank you for being in my life. I'm glad I know you. My life would be poorer without you in it. Thank you for all you do and all that you are. Your tremendous courage regarding being gay has enabled me to be who I am today. THANK YOU xxx
As frequent readers know, things have been very rough for me of late and the post-divorce nightmare has pushed me near the point of contemplating another overdose/suicide attempt. Having been stripped of almost all of my financial possessions in the divorce, I refuse to allow the anti-gay prejudiced Virginia legal system - and the bigoted judges I have had to face in particular - to take away my dignity as well. What has helped me to hold on and not give in to the urge to simply end it all to date has been not only my concerns for how my death would impact my children, the boyfriend, my mother and my siblings, but also my fear that I'd be failing my readers like the one who authored the quoted message. Maybe it's pride on my part, but I do not want to let my cyberspace friends and family down either.
I would ask each one of your to never underestimate your own power to pass on strength to me and others around you. The coming out process and living with dignity in an anti-gay society takes a great deal of support and I thank all those who have been so supportive of me. Time and time again my readers have been there when I needed them and you all underestimate how important you are in helping me to try to stay true to my journey. Please accept my sincere thank you.