Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My Pride and Joy

I often refer to my children as my greatest accomplishment in life and I continue to see them that way even as the former wife does her utmost to try to alienate them from me. Of all the difficulties involved with coming out in mid-life, the hardest perhaps is seeing your children less often and worrying about how your own trying to find self-acceptance of who you are will impact those you love. I'd be lying if I said it didn't cut my heart like a knife when the former wife succeeds to varying degrees in causing discord between my children and me. In fact, it's thought of having perhaps lost them that is one of the principal triggers for thoughts of suicide in me. A sense of hopelessness in the face of persecution by homophobic judges combines with that sadness to push e to the limits
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Amazingly, through it all my youngest child (pictured above) has seemed the most able to see what is really happening and has remained the most constantly true to me. I suspect that she has no idea how important she has been and always will be to me. Indeed, at times it's often only been my concern over how my death would impact her which has enabled me to push back suicidal thoughts to date. Because of her love and loyalty I wanted to post this special thank you to her. She is a true sweetheart and I love her so much - more that I suspect she will ever know.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Another reason to make sure you see the sunrise everyday.